Time Flies

15 Aug

Hi everyone!

Sometimes I wonder if I should even have a blog anymore because my updating skills are practically nonexistent. I’m going to keep it because I have a feeling i’ll get in the groove again soon but I can’t make any guarantees on the frequency of my posts. I really want to blog more because I feel like every time I go to try & write a post, I am so overwhelmed due to the fact that i haven’t posted in so long! Bare with me haha, this post could be all over the place but hopefully when i’m on more of a schedule i’ll blog more so my thoughts are more organized.

i’ll be back at school in just a week. It blows my mind that this summer is coming to an end- life always moves so fast. To be honest, i’m pretty happy about it. I am soo eager to get back to school and I am ready to make it an amazing year. It is crazy how much can change in a year. I spent some time looking back on my old posts and I can’t believe how much has changed since I began blogging. There have been new friendships formed, old friendships strengthened again, break ups, weight loss, weight gain, and everything in between. A year ago I was just beginning the treacherous and complex journey to recovery and today I am at a healthy weight (and probably honestly the healthiest weight i’ve been at in my life).

Do I think i’ve changed? Absolutely. I feel like i’ve grown up a lot and it is really strange. I guess going to college, recovering from an eating disorder & all of the other things i’ve been through this year does that.Β  I hope a year from now I am even happier than I am now. I want to be even more free of eating disordered thoughts. I know i’ve come a long way but I still have countless mental struggles that can be so irrational. Rationally, I have stayed within my goal range (which is 5 pounds) for over 4 months now but irrationally, I still fear that I will somehow gain a bunch of weight all of a sudden! It is so ridiculous but I know that with time, I will begin to trust my body more. I know this could be a challenge in a college atmosphere, but I think I can handle it considering how well I did this past year.

I’m not going to lie- even though i’m SO EXCITED to go back to school, i’m also a little (ok more than a little) anxious. This situation is going to be completely different from any other living situation i’ve been in. I’ll be living in the sorority house with like 40 other girls & no kitchen. I can have a fridge but the meals are provided & they aren’t exactly the healthiest. I’m trying so hard to not let this get in the way of my year, but sometimes I can’t help but stress about it a bit. Honestly, this should be such a great year for mei’ll be forming some of the closest relationships i’ll have from college & I definitely don’t want to take that for granted. I figure I can make it work for me, and I can always have some of my own things on hand too. I’m definitely going to be blogging about how I handle making healthy choices while at school and balancing hard work with plenty of play πŸ˜‰

& now for some food pictures…

yogurt breakfast- fage 2%, heart to heart & kashi puffs, chia seeds, peanut butter, banana… yum.

salmon patty on a sandwich thin! (not the whole meal)

a bar i bought & LOVED- small ingredient lists & still had 7g protein!

a faux frosty– honestly amazing! my obsession: 1/2 cup almond milk, 1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder, xanthum gum, & some sweet n’ low. I added in some blueberries

a go-to lunch- this wrap had turkey, guac, & hummus with all my favorite sides.

overnight oats- which really didn’t fill me up 😦 – made with old fashioned oats, fage 2%, unsweetened almond milk & then with peanut butter & fruit.

I also went out to dinner to a nearby Mediterranean restaurant with my family called Pomegranate. Started with roasted red pepper hummus & pita and then I ordered the chicken schwarma salad as my entrΓ©e.

I also got some new running shoes lately which i love! They are the new Nike Vomeros. I’d definitely recommend them because they are so comfortable to run in.

I had to deactive my facebook for sorority rush (its a rule at my school for some reason) so I think that will also leave some more free time for blogging πŸ™‚ yay!!

Also, super jealous of you guys who are at the HLS in Chicago… seems like a blast!!

Thanks for those of you who still read, it means a lot! I know I’m super sporadic.

Questions– 1) Do you have issues trusting your body when it comes to maintaining your weight? How do you counter irrational thoughts?

2) College students- how do you balance a healthy lifestyle with a college one? Anyone whose lived in a sorority house have advice? πŸ™‚

Love you all & hope to be back soon!!

ps- go check out Coco’s giveaway πŸ™‚



59 Responses to “Time Flies”

  1. fi August 15, 2010 at 3:26 am #

    Wow, its seems like just yesterday you were blogging about how you were nervous to be going home, time really does fly. Going through what u went through in the past busy year is sure to have changed and matured you, and i really do admire youre strength and honesty. I wish u all the best -and lots of fun- in the sorority house, it may be tough at first, but having your own fridge, you could keep yohgurts, milk, fruit, cold meats, salad and stuff like that. Im sure not all the options given will be unhealthy and it will be a chance for u to challenge yourself further. You have achieved so much in the past year, so im sure you will be capable of going further as u enter college again.

  2. Tatianna August 15, 2010 at 4:52 am #

    I’ve miss you dear πŸ™‚ Of course I would love it if you posted as much as you used to, but it’s totally understandable that life gets in the way. I’m living proof of that right now as well! I think I average about a post a week at the most now? I used to post like every day! I think it’s definitely a good sign for both of us.. it means we are doing other stuff and living life πŸ™‚

    Sorry about he food situation at school this year… I understand how hard it must be to even think about. Seeing as you do have a fridge though there’s no reason you can’t have veggies on hand for healthy side dishes, and health bars can make great snacks that you don’t have to put together πŸ˜› That’s all the advice I’ve got!

    ❀ Tat

  3. Aimee August 15, 2010 at 5:09 am #

    So happy to hear how well you are doing and how much you are looking forward to college. College is a great experience – i never lived in sorority house but lived in an off-campus house with 5 other roomates – it was so much fun!!!! Good luck and keep smiling!!! xoxo aimee

  4. Taylor August 15, 2010 at 6:48 am #

    well hello! of course we’ve missed you around the blogosphere, but at the same time (most) readers will understand that it’s because you’re out there living your LIFE that you aren’t updating, rather than joining the ranks of the blue-lit computer zombies who do nothing but sit in front of the computer all day. you’re in college; you SHOULD be out there having fun, not tied down to some computer chair feeling obligated to keep us updated!

    go have fun, go live your life. we’ll be here when you need a break. :]

  5. Dana August 15, 2010 at 7:01 am #

    I can relate to everything you said as usual..

    I’m always scared about gaining too much and not trusting my body..

    One VERY important thing I learned was that in order to recover TRULY you cant try to control your ‘recovered’ weight.

    all of us have different bodies and we cant just pick a BMI that we like and make our bodies stay they even if that is not where they want to be.

    I think a lot of girls do this. They shoot for a certain BMI according to ‘the books’ and not trusting their body. The way im doing it is eating the right amount according to my doctors and team..THEN allowing my body to get at the weight it wants to be..This makes more sense to me….

    anyway, thats just my opinion..

    You are gorgeous and you have always looked it. I’ve seen older pictures of you and you were just as beautiful then. IM 100% being honest here. im not just ‘saying this’ Just try to trust yourself and your body, have fun and live your life. Try to put this damn ED behind you and remember how happy you were with yourself before it all started..

    Dana xoxo love you!!

  6. Lauren August 15, 2010 at 7:06 am #

    Hey sweet girl! It’s been awhile but its so good to hear from you once again. I am so happy things are going well for you. I have to confess something though. I have that SAME fear of uncontrollable weight gain, or at least, I use to until I realized that there is NO possible way my body would do that so long as I treat it right. The body is an amazing thing. It holds on resentment or grudges for how we may have treated it in the past so it would never try to get back at us like that. πŸ˜‰ You are awesome Shelly and things will only get better!

  7. the letting go August 15, 2010 at 7:07 am #

    It is so encouraging to see how far you have come and how much progress you have made, Shelley. Learning to trust your body takes time. What I tend to do is think of food situations as experiments, just to prove to myself that my body can handle it. So I can use each experience as proof when I start thinking irrational thoughts and can say “my body was able to handle it last time, so this won’t be any different.” (Hope that made sense!) And I also try to remember that most of the time my body has more wisdom than my mind does. If I can get out of my head, with its fears and rules and disordered thinking, I can listen to what my body is saying.

    Hope things go well as you get ready to go back to school. It sounds like it is going to be a really fun year for you!

  8. Megan August 15, 2010 at 7:14 am #

    I lived in my sorority house last year and am actually doing it again this year!
    Honestly, I was worried about the food situation too and it turned out to be fine. Of course, we do have fresh baked cookies at every lunch and essert at every dinner, but it’s all about the balance! I kept a mini fridge in my room and also a big container of things like oatmeal, nuts, larabars, etc. I’m pretty lucky because we have fresh fruit at breakfast/lunch and a great salad bar at lunch, so I always have healthy options. There are some nights where dinner is questionable and so I just use it as an opportunity to go out to eat with someone not in my sorority who I maybe don’t get to hang out with as much! Also if your house has a microwave you will be able to make a ton of things… I got to be known as the sweet potato girls because I was always microwaving sweet potatoes! I know it’s intimidating but you will be fine!!

  9. Katie August 15, 2010 at 7:17 am #

    I am going into my first year of college this year. I move in on Wednesday and I am so anxious, excited, and nervous all at the same time!

    I am sort of hesitant about the eating there. The cafe has all sorts of healthy things, but I also like to eat MY things that are special to me. For the first semester I have to have a certain meal plan (19 meals a week) because I am a freshman. So, I will be eating a lot in the cafe, but I plan to bring along some of my own things and just supplement what I have with what the cafe has. This way I can still get in my proteins without overdoing it on the carbs. (I follow a 40-40-20 or somewhere around there diet). It is what works best with my body and I love the energy it provides me.

    Anyway, my dorm room is going to have a fridge and I will have a few other appliances on hand like my magic bullet and a mini george foreman. But, the great thing is that each floor has a kitchen with all of the other standard appliances. I am so happy for this! I love making dinners with friends and especially my boyfriend. πŸ™‚

  10. erika @ Dr.TriRunner August 15, 2010 at 7:47 am #

    Hey love bug – defnitely keep the blog! I love hearing updates from you, even if they’re sporadic. In fact, I prefer when people don’t post every day – haha it doesn’t overwhelm my google Reader. πŸ˜€

    YOUR Qs:

    1 // Not so much issues with trusting my body or weight, but I do definitely struggle with trusting my judgements and decisions. It definitely used to be worse and I would get all worked up about the “maybe I should have gone” or “maybe i should have said no/yes” “maybe I should have ____” but I’ve gotten a lot better at making a decision and sticking with it.

    In terms of trusting your body though – I got to that point after realizing how adaptable the body really is! I want to tell people in recovery – what’s the worst you can do. Just try it! Not to send anyone the wrong direction, but if someone is really SO much more unhappy at a “healthier place” (um, yeah. very unlikely.) then fine, go back to where you were! I guess the main point is, nothing is permanent.

    2 // I wish I had a good answer to that. “Balance” is not something I’ve ever been particularly good at – haha! In terms of cooking, I live in a house so I do all my own shopping. If I don’t plan ahead and bring snacks to campus/practice, well that’s my own dang fault!! Truthfully, I MISS the caf because I feel like I got so much more bang for my buck, and we had GOOD food!!

    p.s. one of my good friends is in your year. haha I know it’s a huge school, but I wonder if you know her? Also, I know people go between Madison & the U all the time – if you ever want to come up here, let me know!

  11. nellatight August 15, 2010 at 8:00 am #

    Hey, girl, I love your blog and hope you keep it up!

    Over a year later I still have some issues trusting my body. But I just remind myself that my body found its happy weight and has been here for close to a year. Sometimes I indulge, sometimes I’m more mindful and cut back a bit. And everything stays in balance. It helps me to just look at the hard facts and remember the days where I really love my body.

    I’m gonna be a junior this year in college, but I don’t find it hard to balance college life with being healthy because I live in an apartment by myself and I’m not a partier, lol. I would suggest concentrating on making your snacks healthy – veggies and hummus, fruit, yogurt – and have some of your own healthier sides to accompany the sorority meals.

  12. mysweetseason August 15, 2010 at 8:01 am #


    I hope you have a great time at college. I would be very sad if you stopped blogging so I say you should definitely keep the blog!

    1. Sometimes I do. But I’ve been the same weight for a good year or so now so I’m beginning to see that it takes a lot to change your weight drastically! After a huge feast I sometimes get negative thoughts but I also know that one “bad” day of eating won’t kill me And everything in moderation right? πŸ™‚

    Enjoy college life! I can’t wait for mine to start haha

  13. Amanda @ . seek . August 15, 2010 at 8:02 am #

    It’s great to hear that so many things have improved for you over the course of a year, Shelley πŸ™‚ I find myself looking back at times, as well, and it’s crazy to think how much better life has become; things are so much different than they were even a few months ago… And I hope that they just keep getting better for you πŸ™‚

    I’ve been pretty lucky because I haven’t had to move away from home to go to college, so I have access to a normal kitchen at all times… I can imagine that the eating situation must be pretty rough, but tonnes of girls manage to do it, and you’ll be no different πŸ™‚ Like you said, you’ll be forming some close relationships and probably having a great time, so try not to stress about food too much. College is an experience in and of itself, and you have your whole life to eat “healthy” and “balanced”, so even if the meals you’ll be given aren’t the healthiest, a short time of eating that way isn’t going to make a difference in the long run. Just have a blast, and the rest will fall into place.

  14. Katie August 15, 2010 at 8:38 am #

    Hey love!!!

    I am happy for you to be starting school again, and I KNOW it will be a great year for you : ) you are in control of your happiness and life : ) just always aim to make it the best , times do get tough and I know you will have struggles, but you will get through them because you are so strong and you have grown so much!!!

    Ahhhhhhhhh the pure bars are good! I just won a pure bar giveaway, Im excited !

    Love you and always here for you! xoxo

  15. Foodie (Fab and Delicious Food) August 15, 2010 at 9:04 am #

    I know how you feel about the blog posting schedule – it’s like if you haven’t done it in a while, it takes a while to get used to it again!

    As far as maintaining weight goes, I don’t really worry about the number too much. I figure if my weight fluctuates a little it’s okay – I don’t really freak out if the number goes up or down because I figure it will all balance itself out (like one day I might eat more than another day, just depending on my appetite, or I might eat healthier one day than another day). As long as I’m getting my proper vitamins and nutrients, my snacks and meals are balanced, and I make sure I’m eating enough, then I don’t mind so much if the number on the scale isn’t the exact same the few times a year I do weigh myself. For me, not weighing myself all the time helps me to look at the bigger picture – health, not just a number on the scale – and that helps me to trust my body and my eating habits and choices.

  16. Alexa August 15, 2010 at 9:26 am #

    i definitely have issues trusting my body and weight gain/loss. I usually rely on the proven science about weight gain ( just knowing that something is proven brings me back to basics and calms my irrational thoughts!)

    also balancing healthy eating with a college style is one of the greatest challenges i face regularly! It’s such a hard job ya know.. how are we suppose to balance social life, sorority life, drinking, partying, hangovers, working out, school work, etc! It’s CRAZY! but i think the “routine” and “guidelines” i’ve formed for my self are reasonable and allow me the best of both worlds! In the end.. just do what you can.. that’s all you can do anyways!

  17. Emily August 15, 2010 at 9:50 am #

    time does fly! You have made some amazing progress this past year, and I can’t wait to read about all the obstacles you will overcome this year. By living in the sorority house, I think you will learn about yourself and how to find balance. Take it as a wonderful opportunity to better yourself!


  18. Mimi August 15, 2010 at 10:38 am #

    Hey! Thanks so much for commenting on my blog–it led me to yours! I read your story and wow, you’ve come so far! You are so strong!

    I look forward to more of your blog. However, if you ever want to just chat, drop me an email! College is craaaazy, even without food. I’m far from some collegiate yogini, but I’d like to think I’ve learned something after 2 years of college.

  19. pursuitofhealthfulness August 15, 2010 at 11:50 am #

    I have a lot of close friends who live in sorority houses who are able to maintain healthy mentalities about health and eating. Conversely, there will undoubtedly be girls who are insecure and do struggle. Be sensitive to that, but don’t let it bring you down. You are strong! Lead by example!

  20. Sami N August 15, 2010 at 12:00 pm #

    Hey! I’ve been following your blog for some time now and i’m so excited for you for this year at school! I’m going to be a freshman at a local college and thanks to you i’m looking to transfer somewhere farther away this spring so i can get the full “college experience” I just wanted to thank you because you really are such an inspiration to me. XOXO!!

  21. Sara K August 15, 2010 at 12:22 pm #

    Shelley!!! I always love reading your posts- you’re amazing with how far you’ve come!
    And yayyy for getting back to school, I’m also super stoked to get back in the groove of things. About your worrying about the food in your sorority house- at least with me, I’m a lot more active when in school than not between going between classes, late nights on the town, etc that it’s necessary for me to eat more than when I’m just bummin’ around. Also, even without a kitchen you can still make plenty of stuff- get a toaster oven- you can bake/toast/warm up food.
    Lots of love πŸ™‚

  22. Kristin August 15, 2010 at 1:44 pm #

    Hi Shelley! πŸ™‚ I am so glad you are keeping your blog…it is one of my favorites and I always look forward to reading your posts, no matter how often they pop up! I can completely relate to how you are feeling right now about trusting your body and eating in the sorority house. I always worry that I will “go overboard” and gain tons of weight but then I take a step back, realize that it happens slowly, and that, if I do gain “too much weight,” I can always make minor cuts and get back to my healthy, happy weight. As for the food in the sorority house, I can understand why you are anxious. If you keep some fresh fruit, veggies, and lettuce for salad in your fridge, and have a few things you can put in the microwave, I am confident that you will be able to make wholesome meals with what is provided in the house. Also, if you end up calorically dense, unhealthier food than you are right now, I am sure your body will naturally balance it out by wanting less calorically dense snacks between meals. Just take it one day at a time and never be afraid to voice concerns to family, close friends, and of course of all your loyal readers πŸ™‚

    ….sorry for the novel. woops!

  23. Danielle (Runs on Green) August 15, 2010 at 2:20 pm #

    Girl you can pop in & randomly post whenever you want…you’re still a blogger!

    I’m sad that summer is gone too but honestly I’m excited for school to start. I love the structure (and friends)!

    Good luck with recruitment…def. one part I won’t miss about my sorority lol

  24. Lauren @ BIOCHEMISTA August 15, 2010 at 3:14 pm #

    Hi love! So so so jealous (!!!) you’re heading back to school! What I would do to be an undergrad again! Seriously the best years of my life – LIVE it up girl! πŸ™‚

    I can understand your anxiety about living in the sorority house. Maybe the *old* Shelley couldn’t handle it, but the new HEALTHY (like you said, just look at your posts to see how far you’ve come!) can def handle this. Take it day by day. It won’t be a controlled environment, but I doubt you’ll be eating lard all day πŸ˜‰

    Have a great night chica!!! LOVE YA!


  25. lizzyj1305 August 15, 2010 at 6:23 pm #

    hi beautiful chica!!
    soooo exciting that you are going to be living in the sorority house next year!! you will enjoy it so much!
    There will be plenty of healthy options to chose from i’m sure…and if not you can always stock some yogurt/milk/cereal in your room if you feel really uncomfortable eating what’s offered. Don’t worry about having an unhealthy eat every once in a while, it wont hurt you, and will help you get closer to ‘normal’ thinking. I think that everyone has irrational thoughts once in a while, so don’t every feel alone!!!
    I hope you enjoy the last bit of your weekend!
    xoxo!!!. πŸ™‚

  26. Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin August 15, 2010 at 8:05 pm #

    Girl I just read your page about your story, and I can pretty much relate to it word for word! It sounds like you’re at an awesome place right now. πŸ˜€ And I totally know what you mean about having an irrational fear of gaining weight. I think I just need to learn to trust that when my body tells me it’s full, that’s when I’ve eaten just the right amount to maintain my weight.

  27. Lyss August 15, 2010 at 8:13 pm #

    time does fly, and it’s scary as hell! i have no doubts that this year will only bring you more happiness and more health. you’re strong and resilient – i’m excited to watch you grow! as for the house, think of it as a challenge. just another hurdle you KNOW you can overcome. i’m behind you! xoxo

  28. blueeyedheart August 15, 2010 at 8:25 pm #

    I’m so happy for you that you can look back and see how far you’ve come in the past year — it really is amazing!! πŸ™‚

    As for updating — don’t feel like you HAVE to do it… it should be something you do for you, if you want to.

    ❀ ❀

  29. betterwhenweretogether August 15, 2010 at 8:28 pm #

    hey shelley! wow i totally love your blog, i used to read it when i had my old blog but its even better now (: so yes, you have changed into a maraculous healthy young girl! im so happy about your nearing college experience! it should be fun! yes, sometimes while trying to maintain i think im eating to much but in reality, when i was starved my blog went crazy when it was being re-fed and now i have to nourish my body and ALWAYS listen to hunger cues! you eats look lovely and way to go on new shoes! (: have a great night and im definatly going to keep reading!

  30. Kate August 15, 2010 at 8:42 pm #

    isn’t it great to look back and see how much you’ve grown? you have lots to be proud of! enjoy your school year. if i could, i would go back to my undergrad days in an instant. they were so much fun!

  31. Charmian August 15, 2010 at 8:55 pm #

    I have been weight-restored for a while . . . yet I still struggle with ED thoughts. Sometimes I still have to block out that evil voice that we all know leads to no good. Usually the voice is stronger when I’m having a bad day/not feeling good in myself and that is when it can get me. I think we have to trust what our loved ones around us see because when we are in our ED, we are blinded whereas they can still see what is true and real. And trusting in all we have learned about nutrition/proper eating habits will help pull us out of that false panic – because really we know we cannot get fat if we are only just maintaining!


  32. Charmian August 15, 2010 at 8:57 pm #

    * Only just managing to maintain.

  33. Jess August 15, 2010 at 9:00 pm #

    I think you are going to have a FANTASTIC year!!

    I spend way too much time on FB, doing..NOTHING. It’s ridic.
    ❀ jess

  34. Jenna August 16, 2010 at 6:24 am #

    I am sooo happy for you my girl!
    You have been through so much and I have all the faith in the world you will do just wonderful at school this year!
    You are such an inspiration and a strong Kung woman!
    Jenna xo

  35. Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine August 16, 2010 at 7:58 am #

    There are always days when I feel like my weight isn’t good enough, but luckily, those days are few and far between. Rationally, I know that I’m at a healthy weight, but whenever I’m having a bad day, it’s easy for ED to slip in. I think the biggest success is being able to differentiate the real thoughts from ED ones, and it seems like you’ve absolutely accomplished that!!

    I can understand your anxiety about the sorority situation, but like you said- it can be the year of your life. Don’t let food take control. What you eat is still your choice, and you have all the knowledge to make the healthy choices in any situation. You’ll be just fine love!! xoxo

  36. lowandbhold August 16, 2010 at 8:24 am #

    You’ll have so much fun living in the house! 5 years from now all you’ll remember is all the fun times and memories, not what you ate πŸ™‚

    Don’t worry about the sporadic schedule, just keep livin’ it up! XOXO

    • Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth) August 16, 2010 at 10:24 am #

      such a great point!!! you are so right- 5 years and i won’t care about the food at alllll. i’m going to try my best to just enjoy every moment!

  37. Michelle August 16, 2010 at 10:57 am #

    Yay for starting a new school year. As you have read on my blog, I am also very nervous for the food! I do have a game plan which includes having my own fridge and keeping a few healthy “pantry” items like oatmeal in a drawer in my closet. I wish you the very best school year! ❀

  38. Marina August 16, 2010 at 10:57 am #

    Hi dear! Good to see you again πŸ˜‰

    Wow, your school starts already?
    Don’t worry about the food, when the lectures and everything starts, you’ll have your mind filled with studying, making new friendships, discovering new things…and you’ll need fuel for that. And it doesn’t matter that it isn’t the healthiest in the world πŸ˜‰
    My uni really takes a lot of time, but I find some time for exercising, cooking, living healthy. You can always fill your fridge with fruits, veggies, dairy products… It’s not that hard, promise!

  39. Little Notes August 16, 2010 at 2:35 pm #

    Out of all the blogs I read I think you manage to post some of the nicest eats! As for your food situation coming up, at least you have a fridge, that definitely will help things. So you can keep it stocked up and if some of your meals dont go to plan well at least you`ll have something for a backup. I know its stressful and hard not to worry about but try your best to not let it get in the way of enjoying yourself.

    Ive found since getting my ed Ive grown in different ways, I learned more about myself. Your very wise and intelligent and you`ll probably find having an ed and working so hard at recovery has made you a much stronger person.


  40. Naomi(onefitfoodie) August 16, 2010 at 6:44 pm #

    although I have never lived in a sorority house when I was in college, I can imagine that this would be of concern at first. I would even feel strange not being able to cook when I want BUT you have to just look at this as a positive thing. First of all you have a fridg ein your room, so you can have dairy, fruit etc, basically always breakfast in your room, right? Then for other meals, i am SURE you could find something healthy and balanced. It must be fun living with all those girls, I cant even imagine!!

    sounds like you are doing so great shelley, and you have always had such a positive outlook on everything. You are going to have an amazing year, i know it πŸ™‚

  41. sarahdbelle August 16, 2010 at 7:54 pm #

    Definitely do what’s best for you in your new living situation. You’ll be fine, I’m sure ; )

  42. thebeautifulbalance August 16, 2010 at 8:38 pm #

    Shelley! I loveee this post. I just wrote a post on my blog (literally 10mins ago) and expressed SUCH similar conflicts going on. I have so many of the same aprehensions about going back to school, the whole sorority thing, eating healthy, feeling secure, trusting our bodies etc. As exciting as it is going back, its also overwhelming starting another year and i know for me, being at a more “normal” weight for my body is stressful because i feel even more pressure to compare myself with others.
    You are not alone in your anxiety. Its wonderful that you’ve kept this blog and can see JUST how far you’ve come and how strong and healthy you are now. Your faux frosty looks bomb.
    Please email me if you want to chat sometime, i feel like were expressing a lot of similar concerns. Youre amazing girlfriend! XOXO

  43. Janna's Keeping it Real! August 16, 2010 at 11:45 pm #

    I just have to say this… I’ve read your blog since December of last year, and I am just amazed/proud of how much you have grown in just thatshort amour of time! You truly have wisdom beyond your years young lady!

    I wish you the best with your return back to school! Don’t you worry, we will all still be checking/reading, sporadic or not!

  44. aletheiazoe August 16, 2010 at 11:50 pm #

    I hope you continue to be the strong girl that overcoming ED has made you, and learn to trust your body more and more. I have irrational body image fears ALL.THE.TIME. but I have to keep reminding myself that internal happiness is worth more than anything else.

  45. Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) August 17, 2010 at 2:28 am #

    hi shelley!

    the faux frosty, the pure bar, you going back to school…wow, so much goodness in this post! I am so happy for you that you’re EXCITED about school. Honestly, i loved school but gearing up for a new year was never my fave feeling in the world…lol πŸ™‚

  46. sweetsbyalli August 17, 2010 at 11:05 am #

    You have come SO far in one year and you should be SO proud of yourself!! I definitely still have a hard time with trusting my body…it really helps me to remember how SMART our bodies are. They are structured to help us adapt and get back to balance if we move from one side of the continuum to the other (losing too much weight/gaining too much). By remembering that my body is MEANT to be at a set point, I know that it is striving to get there. The human bio class I took this summer really opened my eyes even more about the intricate systems and how our bodies WILL and DO move toward their set point once we treat them with care! πŸ™‚

  47. kelsey@snackingsquirrel.com August 17, 2010 at 11:17 am #

    new kicks!! brilliant, the color is super fun too!
    you should definitely be excited about school, i know ur gonna enjoy it- lots to learn and fun adventures to be had my dear ❀

  48. Shanna, like Banana August 17, 2010 at 4:43 pm #

    This is such a fun and exciting time in your life..try not to get too bogged down in worrying about what you “have” to do.

    I had similar qualms in my own sorority, but it will work out…maybe make it your contribution to the house to bring in healthier eats πŸ™‚

  49. julia August 18, 2010 at 4:13 am #

    Hey girl!
    So nice to read (more than one!) new post now I just got back home. I think you’re doing great and I also believe it’s so important to be open about (little and big) struggles; getting it out often helps so much already…
    Believe me: you will be able to maintain a healthy weight, while at the same time ejoying your life. You will listen to your body and there’s nothing as smart as a human body. You’re gorgeous and you deserve to live a free life, without struggles about teaing anymore: you had way too much of that during your disorder… And you will do great, trust me!

    (And as a reaction on your second last post: I agree with you. As long as you make sure that every choice you make is a choice because you want it, because your body needs it and never because of irrational ED-thoughts: it’s a wise choice. Just always be careful and remember to enjoy life;) )

    You’re doing so great and I’m proud girl. Make this a wonderful year!

    xxx Julia (Taste of Living)

  50. cardiopizza August 18, 2010 at 3:28 pm #

    wow, summer time sure did fly by! It seems like yesterday you just got home for summer vacation!

    I LOVED living in my sorority house. I went to BGSU and also lived with 40+ girls. My advice with the food: ask the cook to get special items if you need them. Other than that, I made the best of what she cooked. I also kept a few things in my fridge (yogurt, fruit, etc).

    Try not to let the food ruin your fun…living in the sorority house was seriously some of the best times I’ve ever had!

    As for trusting my body, I DO feel that I can eat whatever I want and maintain my weight…the trust has happened over time. You’ll get there πŸ™‚ I try my best to listen to my cravings and hunger signals to determine what I want to eat. I also pretty much eat at the same times, so I know when I’ll be hungry.

  51. Leah @ Why Deprive? August 18, 2010 at 4:09 pm #

    It really is amazing how much can change in just a year eh?

    Love the new shoes, Im a total Nike girl – Ive never been comfortable in anything else.

  52. Kristy August 18, 2010 at 5:19 pm #

    I totally agree that this summer has flown by! It sounds like you had an awesome, Ed free summer, though. Way to go! Transitioning back into school can be tough, I’m a little bit nervous about it too. As long as we don’t resort back to Ed, though, everything will be a-okay!

    Your food looked scrumptious!

    Enjoy the rest of your summer!

  53. thehungryscholar August 19, 2010 at 9:13 pm #

    Keep blogging. I’ll be here πŸ™‚

  54. The Candid RD August 20, 2010 at 3:16 pm #

    I think after having an eating disorder you are never 100% cured. But you know what? I think that’s ok! You know why? Because that means you are conscious of your body and your health. I know there is a difference between obsessing over your body/food, and simply watching your weight and what you eat, but over time you will become more comfortable with food and your body and while you will still ALWAYS watch what you eat, and be healthy, you won’t have those irrational thoughts. Even I still think irrationally sometimes when it comes to my weight and food, but I just remind myself that it’s better than not thinking about it AT ALL. You know? As long as you are nourishing your body with appropriate calories (and you are) and appropriate nutrients (and you are), you have come so far and are already miles ahead of the millions of Americans who are unhealthy both mentally and physically.

    As for my college years, eating healthy and being healthy in college was really tough.. I just tried to take it one day at a time and not get wrapped up in the “What ifs”.

  55. GetHealthyWithHeather August 21, 2010 at 10:25 am #

    That bar looks so good like a dessert – love the amount of protein in it too!

    I tend to do better with my weight when I don’t fret about it. I try and listen to what my body needs and go for it. I exercise a lot so I know I do need a lot of food (healthy foods!) to fuel my activities.

  56. highonhealthy August 21, 2010 at 10:17 pm #

    Shelley! Hey! πŸ™‚

    I definitely have a hard time trusting my body but I know that until I start to truly believe in it.. things won’t get better. Some days it’s easier to trust my body than other days but I’m still absolutely positive that I’ll eventually reach a point where I can have complete faith in myself. You’re doing amazing, Shelley! Keep it up. πŸ™‚


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