Hello my long lost friends!
No point in apologizing – I just have to get back in the blogging groove I guess and the only way to really make that possible is to blog so here I am! After the wedding, which was amazing, my friend Leah came to visit again for a week. When she was here, and when she left, i’ve been working at the Ohio State Fair…. I know, trust me haha. My good guy friend runs the Ohio Corn Grower Associations stand so he hired me, and it has been quite entertaining.
I guess there is no easy way to recap all of this so i’ll just show you it all in pics 🙂
just a little bit of food first!
my FAV breakfast- fage 2%, cereal mixture, peanut butter & this no calorie chocolate sauce i found (actually pretty good), & fruit!
& there have been good times out with friends of course!!
I hope that as I get into more of a “routine” with school starting, I blog more. I know it seems contradictory that I would blog more when I am busier, but somehow having a schedule keeps me more accountable to blog. I fit it into my schedule when I know that I have to think about my schedule- if that makes any sense?
On the recovery front, I have been pretty good. I’ll admit that I think it is pretty amazing that I have stayed in my goal weight range since April and I am really proud but the mental struggles are definitely still there- as I expected they would be. The important thing that I try to remember is that even if i’m not 100% satisfied with my body, going back to old habits will only leave me unhappy and in a terrible situation. Life is infinitely better without my eating disorder and I am not willing to go back.
But back to my title of this post- which is probably making you think “whattt the….?” at this point. I’m referring to people’s reactions to the way I eat. As you all know, I like to eat healthy foods. I see this as a good, healthy thing but generally people my age don’t really think about making healthy choices most of the time. Obviously, TONS of girls (& even guys) my age will consider being healthier and go through periods where they want to eat ‘healthy’ and they will ‘diet’ but end up quickly reverting to old habits. This is completely fine & normal, but I’m different in that i’ve been through my eating disorder & now know what a healthy, balanced diet consists of. I feel awkward when I go out to a restaurant and I want to order something healthy or ask for some kind of special request for my meal because I know my friends think it is kind of ; I feel the need to defend my food choices.
I’ve found that sometimes i’ll make excuses– like I want to make sure it’s not too oily so I don’t get a stomach ache (which is only 1/2 true) or that I don’t like that particular sauce/dressing, when in reality I am doing it because I know it is too much without those requests and I will feel better if the food is that way. Honestly, I don’t think I should have to have an excuse for why i’m eating healthy. As long as I’m eating enough and not restricting, which is honestly the case 99% of the time – then there isn’t a problem. I’m past the point of fear foods – if I really want something, I’ll eat it but generally I know what I like & what makes me feel the best. I know most of the questioning comes from insecurities in other individual’s food choices but it still makes me uncomfortable from time to time.
I’m going to work on this by being more comfortable and confident in my food choices when I’m with friends & family in the future. If people poke fun at the way I eat or say i’m boring or ask me why I get what I get, i’m going to simply reply that it is what I want to eat. No excuses- no explanations. After all, its just food.
Your turn! I want to hear what you think about this issue- do you feel like you constantly are being judged for your healthy choices? How do you respond when people question the way you eat or make fun of you for it?