Hello Cutiepies!!
heads up – this is an absolutely MONSTROUS post. Bare with me.
I am now back and free to update! My best friend from school/roommate next year visited me for my birthday & we had so much fun!
But first let me rewind & i’ll tell you a little bit about Canyon Ranch as promised. My sister, my 2 cousins, & my Mom & I went to celebrate my cousin’s engagement and upcoming wedding. Canyon Ranch is a spa resort that is dedicated to encouraging a healthy lifestyle. They have tons of group fitness classes and a really healthy cafe, along with AMAZING pools, a great spa & a beautiful beach. They list all the nutrition information and the food is all organic and natural. They focus on portion control and not on diet foods whatsoever.
We would spend the days while we were there at the resort and we went out to 2 nice restaurants which was also really fun.
The first day we got there we had lunch and I got the shrimp cobb salad.
we also started with fresh corn bread & baked artichoke “fries”
My mom always goes all out & gave us little “pillow gifts” at night- these were little thoughtful things that had meaning somehow to our lives!
One night we went to a really fun restaurant called Barton G. The way they present the food is truly one-of-a kind. The drinks are also amaazing- they have dry ice coming out of them.
Here is my sister with hers- it had a chocolate monkey attached!
We started with the “G” fries- 4 different kinds of fries- sweet potato, regular fries, potato chips, & tater tots
& I got their chopped salad for my entrée with shrimp
an appetizer they served was “lobster poptarts“… in a toaster!!
& for dessert- a huuuuuge funnel cake
this meal was clearly an amazingly unique experience! It was ridiculousy entertaining. Yes, I had some anxiety about the food- but I ate it and felt like I let myself enjoy the experience.
At the resort I was lucky enough to receive a few really relaxing treatments– massages, hair treatment & a back cleanse. They were all incredible and I felt so lucky to be able to be there.
My cousins & my sister & I did a boxing class one day. I wasn’t sure if i’d like it but I was shocked by how intense/how much fun it was!! This is us hard at work hahaha
We also had some fun playing an elephant game in the hotel room 🙂 My Mom finds the most random games.
We got home really late Sunday Night so I didn’t have a chance to celebrate Father’s day. Instead, we cooked dinner for my dad Monday Night! It was a lot of fun.
We made the famous CHEETAHS, fruit salad, salmon, salad & corn on the cob! Cheetahs were a huge hit– thanks Kailey!!
then my friend Leah came in town for my birthday!! I was so excited & couldn’t wait to show her a fun time 🙂
While she was here, we did many things, including: chilling by the pool..
making candy sushi for my FISHBOWL birthday party!!
& attempted to ride electric bulls
(ps, that is not me falling.. or.. is.. it?!)
& danced our butts off!!
oops, whatevs- sorry for partying 😀
& lastly, I ran in a 5k this morning for Jewish Family Services & got it in 25 minutes 10 seconds! I was really excited because I’ve never run a 5k in that fast of a time (for a race). It felt really good even though I complained a lot about waking up early.
pre race fuel = yogurt mess
♥♥♥
Clearly, I have been having some good times. I have been trying my best to just live in the moment and not let any eating disordered thoughts get in the way.
When I was at Barnes & Noble the other week I picked up a small book about mindfulness meditation. I read about how to be more present in any given situation and how you should make sure when you are talking to someone you are giving them your full attention. I want to follow this advice because I know that sometimes some of my eating disorder/emotional thoughts get in the way of my reality and it is so important to be a good listener.
Speaking of reality, I was talking to my friend who mentioned she felt like she gained the freshman 15 (she wasn’t upset but just kind of laughing about it) After she said this, I responded by commenting on how, in reality, no one can really notice/no one really cares about that except yourself. It is so true- in most circumstances, “fat days” are in our heads and the few pounds we may feel like we’ve gained are only noticed by ourselves. Why are we are own toughest critics?
A study by York University found proof that fat days are in our heads. You can read about it here. I’ve realized that I let how I feel some mornings/what I weigh (if I choose to weigh myself) affect my emotions so much. I have really been trying to change this because I realize that even if I did gain 2 pounds, NO ONE else notices and so I shouldn’t let it affect me. To be honest, I woke up this morning, decided to weigh myself, & the number wasn’t something I wanted to see. At first I was upset, but instead of letting it ruin my day, I had this brief epiphany after talking to my friend and realized that it is absurd. I don’t need to let my weight ruin my day. I am stronger than that.
Fat days truly are in our heads– attitude is everything. When I let myself have a positive attitude today, I found I didn’t worry. I ate healthy foods today and I focused mostly on the people I was with and the things I was doing, not the food i’d eaten/would be eating. I didn’t restrict and I didn’t binge and I feel really content at the end of the night.
“Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you thing about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.” Norman Vincent Peale
Questions: What is your attitude towards fat days/positive attitude? Do you think about mindfulness in your every day life?
xoxoxox
Finding Happiness and Health 
Great post! Loving the attitude. Personally I think being positive and recognising change in yourself is paramount. I’ve been talking about it a lot in my blogs lately and just writing about it has made me do a 180 in regards to how I feel about myself and my body. Keep up the positivity! 🙂
Hey Shelley, looks like you had a fab weekend at the resort with the girls in your family! I loooove resort stuff, pools, spas, hanging out, etc. It’s just so relaxing. I’m glad you decided to “let go” and enjoy that one meal too. I know it was hard, I’ve had to do that myself and it is nice to just enjoy it but usually, it’s the “after effect” that gets to me.
So ya, I do totally agree with you that it’s a mindset thing. No one see its, notices it, unless YOU point it out. Sometimes I realize that I’m so caught up in me, that everyone else is too but really, they’re just as worried about themselves so they are too caught up about themselves to think about me. Long run-on sentence? Haha. I hope you get what I mean.
When I have “fat days” I try to just do something to occupy my mind. If not, I think it would just kind of eat at me.
You’re so strong and wise and becoming even stronger and more powerful each day, I’m more than proud!
You look gorgeous and I love the fact that you’re enjoying life and trying to live in the moment. Besides that, you’re also helping others, like you’re friends by explaining the crazy aspects of ‘fat days’. Way to go girl. Please keep fighting…
And I wish for you that this next year will be filled with joy, laughter and many beautiful things. You deserve it!
xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
Hey girl! I LOVE your blog! Thank you for being so honest…It’s very refreshing and much appreciated. 🙂
It’s incredible how powerful “fat” feelings can be…A wrong number on a scale or a tight pair of jeans can make or break a day in a matter of seconds. But I think that equipping ourselves with knowledge that it is a MIND matter that only WE can “see” in ourselves (just what you are doing) empowers us to fight those negative thoughts, maintain a positive attitude and win!
I tell myself that EVERY woman has “fat days” and that doesn’t make them ‘fat’. I knock it up to the hormones that usually hit once a month 😉
Hey! I’ve never commented before but I’ve reading through all your old posts & just wanted to tell you how great your blog is & what an amazing person you are, so insightful & just living your life! Plus you’ve totally got me into yogurt messes!
Aw Shelley.. this post is beautiful!
It looks like you really had a fantastic time at Canyon Ranch. I think it looks like an amazing place to go!
I really agree with your last point. Some days, I feel so much ‘fatter’ than other days, and there really isn’t much difference in my body at all. Even if there has been significant weight gain, 5-10 pounds usually goes unnoticed by the people around us. I think it’s so important to remind ourselves of that, because it’s really easy to get caught up in numbers and feelings and forget about it all.
Thanks for such an empowering post dear!
❤ Tat
I’ve always wanted to go to Canyon Ranch, you are so lucky you got to go! It seems like you are doing a really great job squashing those negative thoughts related to your ED. Good for you!
Shelleyyyy!! Your trip to the resort looks FANTASTIC and your Mum’s so sweet to have prepared those pillow gifts! I feel like giving your Mum a hug now. Lol. All the fun things you did with your cousins, and the food! And your birthday celebration looks heaps fun. Happy Birthday hun! You’re living it up because you deserve it. Continue to live in the moment. Afterall, moments don’t last forever and there’s no point anticipating the future if we end up missing out on the finer parts of life as we are experiencing it right?
I try to be mindful as I go about my day but more often than not, I end up mindlessly forgetting to be mindful. Haha. Not very useful huh?! But I agree, people tend not to scrutinise us as much as we scrutinise ourselves and we end up spending hours on end worrying about… well, nothing really. Thanks for sharing about fat days and it really being in our heads. It reminds me that regardless of how I feel towards myself when I wake up on ‘fat’ days, those feelings will pass. I just have to stay positive!
Love you much
Nat xoxo
Shelly, I am so blown away! Okay, I have to tell you how AMAZING you look!!!! Not just because your drop dead gorgeous, but because your entire being shines with healthy happy vibes! Honestly, I was sitting here reading this and saying to myself, “Wow, life for her is incredible!”
I have been dealing with a bit of weight gain too. Mine is definitely a good thing and a sign that I am finally getting better but it’s still hard to see a number that you have not seen in years! Just get through each day and it gets a little better each time.
❤ you girl!
Looks like you had such a good time!! I went to a Canyon Ranch day camp in middle school, if you can believe that…their food is so good!!
You couldn’t have said it better about the weight gain. I’ve definitely gained weight in the past few months, but no one can tell. Of COURSE we’re going to notice- it’s our bodies!! But on a day when I’m feeling bloated or gross, I always have to remind myself that it’s all in my head. And if anyone DOES notice and seem to care, they’re not the kind of person I want to be around.
Hope you’re having a great week love, and a belated happy birthday!! xoxo
Your mom is so cute with the gifts! Who got the Tory Burch shoes?? haha Looks like a fun vacay and like you’re having a great time!! The fishbowl party looks awesome! Happy belated Birthday!!
5k?!? You freaking rock!!
I love what you have to say about fat days. I have them too – and they ARE all in my head. Mostly it’s me manifesting my insecurity about (whatever) into my appearance, when usually my appearance is the only thing I am 100% secure about. I try to just…let it go, to varying degrees of success.
I love you Shell! You’re so fantastic, you really are. And you commented on my last post you hope we can meet one day … trust me, we will.
happy belated birthday!!!!! and your trip looks amazing.
yeah, fat days. i agree, they used to really throw me off. i would try and wear big dresses or loose pants in an attempt to mask my “weight gain.” but i’ve realized that most people are way too concerned about themselves and their problems to pay much attention to your bloatedness. life is way too complicated to get wrapped up in an extra pound or two!
First of all, Canyon Ranch sounds amazing! Your mom is so sweet with those gifts too. And I have been reading a lot about the “power of positive thinking” and it is so true.. everything really is just in our heads!! I also loved what you said about paying full attention to people, because I notice sometimes in a conversation my mind will drift to what I’m going to eat next, what I already ate that day, etc and that is just ridiculous and I need to stop doing that! Thank you for always being honest and inspirational and beautifullll!
this was a really great post shelley 🙂 My mom has been to a canyon ranch and loved it as well. What a FUN restaurant that was !!
Regarding fat days, i agreee with multiple things. We all have them and for me.. can really put a damper on my mood as well. I think when i’m having a fat day i try to think “okay you have felt like this before- these thoughts arent unexpected just accept it and move on.” reassuring that I’ve felt that way before and been doing great the next day plays down all the drama i’m feeling about it in the actual moment. Hope that makes sense?
hope you had a great weekend.
xoxox
Shelly! It looks like you are just living your life 🙂
you look so beautiful in yor swimsuit!
You are such an inspiration to me in recovery you don’t even know! Lovesss ya
Jenna
SHELL! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS POST!
ahh i needed it soooo much, I had the same experience this morning. Wolk up and weighed myself (which I havent done in a long time) the number was not what I wanted to see. My initial reaction was to freak out but then I realized that im not going to let it bother me. I’m going to learn to love my body and not care if I put on a few pounds. Your so right, nobody else really cares or notices either. We are the ones who let it affect us and ruin our days, months, and years. Life is so much better when you love your body 🙂 I’m so happy you posted about this… You look beautiful & like your enjoying the heck out of life! Keep it up and be confident in your skin because you have EVER reason too be! Really, you are beautiful shelly!
lots of love,
Dana xo
http://happinessiswithin.wordpress.com/
Love this Shelley – it’s so incredibly true, and I’ll totally admit to having fat days, and weighing myself only to realize that it’s NOT a big deal…no shame, all women and men go through this, it’s just a matter of finding balance and realizing that life is too short and precious to get upset over this stuff 🙂
That vacation + party = perfect. I LOVE the poooool and the mechanical bull – so jealous hahaha! Love you girl!!
Meg
when i have a fat day, my first instinct is to go to the gym and work out really hard. Instead of giving into my disorder, I force myself to do no exercise at all, and really think about why I’m feeling that way. usually i figure it out and feel better the next morning.
by the way, your sister looks just like you!
i definitely try to wake up everyday and just think its an entirely new day and if i ate something i regreted the day earlier its over and done with and i shouldnt care now!
LOVE the positive attitude! only we can make ourselves feel positive, nobody else:) xx
Literally, after everything from the resort, I was saying “how cool” out loud. What a great vacation! I’m sure it did so much good for you too!
For me, a fat day = a bad day, which I definitely believe can be turned around depending on attitude.
Your posts are so inspiring and insightful girl, keep them coming. I love hearing from you!
Hey Shelley, wow, u look like u had/are having such a great time at the moment, with lots of fun food too. You look happy, which is great. I always forget about mindfulness until someone reminds me, so thanks!! because i do find it so useful 🙂 to be in the moment, not thinking into the future or past or consequences/worries, its so freeing!
I deal with fat days by accepting it as a day, only one day out of how many i am lucky to have on this earth! and know that everyone has them and that it will pass. I do nice things for myself too, like watch movies and go for coffee.
keep smiling dear-it suits u!
fi
xxxx
I loved reading this post! (Which wasn’t too long, by the by…just not long enough!)
First off, it looks like you had an awesome time at the resort/spa. I so wanna hit one of those places up one of these days (never been to a resort OR a spa!). It looks awesome, and I’m so proud you managed t live in the moment and enjoy yourself!
I esspecially loved the study (done at a school that about half my friends attend here in Ontario!). It’s so true – even if the number on the scale happens to BUDGE up, I’ll automatically “feel” it in my legs…or my stomach…or wherever. But really, who can even notice TEN pounds, much less HALF a pound! Ugh!
Mucho love,
izzyy
xoxo
GIRL HAPPY LATE BDAY!
oh my gosh i am sooo in LOVE WITH YOU!! that looks like SUCH a fun vacation!! goodness gracious! 4 kinds of fries- that is truly a work of art! hollaaaa! isnt it GREAT to have vacations like that?? think about where you were a year ago from today- YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT! I am smiling just thikning about it!! I love ou!
Shelley…you look fabulous and just remember that when you were really skinny you never would have been able to run a 5K that fast. You want people to look at you and see a fit and beautiful girl. Not a skinny breakable girl. You are absolutely gorgeous and I love your attitude. I know it is hard and I know you battle the fat days but you are doing so well. Look how adorable you are in those above pictures. I am speeachless at how gorgeous you are! 🙂
omg that restaurant looks so fun!!! lobster poptarts in the toaster??! thats too cute! and love that fry trio!! glad you had a nice time..and dont think I didn’t see that tory burch shoe box 😉 love it!!
I also want to sit on that blow up thing in the pool! it looks so freakin comfy!
glad you are doing well, Shelley!! enjoy yourself and have a great rest of your night!!
xo
Girl! You look beautiful! 🙂 Its so true that fat days are in our heads, but I am still affected by it, its frustrating… but once we know it is when it can be changed!
Oh my goodness shelley, you look like you had a blast! I’m so jealous because it all looked like so much fun. I especially love the huge pool bed haha! Congrats on the 5k!! That’s so exciting! You are doing so wonderful and I’m so happy for you. 🙂
Thanks admin very nice about health issues is always an issue for all health care is through
That resort sounds wonderful! I am such a spa junkie. I’ve been nagging my mom to take us to an overnight one for years! And all of your eats look delicious!
thats so important too! i love how theyre all natural and organic but they dont limit anything or expect anyone else to do so.. fats, protein, carbs, all of it extremely delicious and healthy! such an amazing spa for sure!! ❤
yes, i so just made that quote my facebook status hahah. this post was awesome and that resort looked like a LOT of fun. and the food looks yum! the fishbowl party is too cute an idea.
WHERE did you get that ginormous float for your pool!!??!?!I NEED TO FIND ONE!!!!!
i am so jealous of your fabulous vacay! the food, activities, boxing classes, fishbowl drinks, dancing, are right up my alley. Keep living in the moment girlie bc life is way more fun when you do!
xoxoxox
lolo
looks like you are having a fun summer
Awww, Shelley!
Those are such cute pics!
I´m so happy for you, seriously.
I can totally relate to your situation with weight and “fat days”… But we can make it through, girl!
You can make it through. I´m 100% sure of that 🙂
Wish you a lovely week – keep having F-U-N!
Brazilian XOXO´s,
Gabriela
Shelley!! Long time no chat. I miss reading your posts. I loved this post, for one, you look incredible. I’m not just saying that- like you look so strong, tan (jealous!) and happy! It’s amazing because when I first started reading your blog, you had just started school and you weren’t even allowed to work out. Look how far you’ve come! Running 5ks! Dancing the night away. Looks like your definitely enjoying yourself.
I know fat days are all in the head, because I look at girls that weigh much more than me, and I actually envy them because they just proclaim, Confidence. Like they’re soo confident in themselves, and I think that’s what I lack. When I have a good day, sure I’m confident, but what’s stopping me from having that confidence on a fat day too, ya know? Sucks. but I guess it’s a learning thing.
Hope you’re enjoying your summer my dear! much love.
I think I have too much to say to respond to this post that I can’t say anything at all. I’m sorry I want to comment a million words but they’re all a jumble ah. Looks like your life is fun and I can totally relate to so much of what you have to say! ((sorry to be lame))
I am SO beyond jealous of your Canyon Ranch trip. That sounds completely amazing. As does pretty much your whole summer so far. We have a bar here that has an electric bull, I swear I’ll be brave enough to get on it someday…
And you’re SO right about how attitude is everything. How we look at things is everything. Changing your thought process and just trying to see things and situations in a different light truly makes all the difference. Now if only I could remember that on my moody days like today. This post sure does help though! 🙂
Hi Shelley!
your time at Canyon Ranch looks amazing…I would love to go there one day.
And I spied a Tory B box of shoes in the post. nice!
Love the pool pics of you all too 🙂
Thanks for sharing this! Looks like you had a lot of fun… i love your photos!!!
Love the healthy and happy mindset radiating through this post. The resort looked like SO much fun with great eats and your candy sushi looked so tasty, yum.
For the longest time I thought that just because I used to have an ED, i was one of the few people who let “fat days” get in the way of their day and happiness during that day. In reality, almost all women do this (not that it makes it right….). This may sound awful, but that makes me feel good. I figured it was just part of recovering from an ED, but knowing that basically ALL women (and some men) go through this actually makes it easier for me to push these bad thoughts aside. I try not to weigh myself more than once or twice a month, because that really effects my day if I do. I also try really hard to stay in the moment (like you said) and not think about food unless I am eating it, or planning to create it for a party or something. I love your little tips you’ve thrown in there, all very good.
Glad you had a nice time at Canyon Ranch! I have always wanted to go there actually. It sounds awesome.
That’s great advice that you gave your friend.
You’ve been having such a blast. The funnel cake looks delicious. I want it.
It looks like you had so much fun at Canyon Ranch with your family. And your mom is so adorable with those gifts!
About fat days, I think we all feel that, sometimes. (Some of us experience it more than others). Anyway, I agree that it is a state of mind, it is all in our heads. I’ve been told many times that “fat is not a feeling” and I think it’s true. Sometimes we focus on “feeling fat” because we don’t know how to/don’t want to label what we are actually feeling. The problems go deeper than just gaining a pound, because really, what does that matter? It’s about learning how to center yourself, clear your head, deal with real issues and emotions instead of focusing on something so meaningless.
I’m glad you are trying to be more mindful. I think it could really help. Have you tried the mindful meditation yet?
oh my god canyon ranch sounds like SUCH a relaxing and amazing weekend 🙂 what a special treat! your mom is too cute with the little bedside presents
Shelley! Dear beautiful Shelley! You look gorgeous, and I’m so happy to hear that you had such a great time. I’m not sure I would be able to drag my family to Canyon Ranch though. The word “healthy resort” would scare them off. lol.
And you are so right…”fat day” is really in our head. Most of the time, nobody even notices because they are too busy obsessing over their own “fat days”!
OMG…. that vacation sounds absolutely wonderful! I totally want to go to Canyon Ranch now!!!
I love love love your positive attitude! I try to stay positive and tell myself that noone notices a 2 lbs change in weight. But its so much easier said than done.
It’s weird, because I know that I don’t notice even 10 or 15 lbs changes in weight…. changes that other people notice. I just don’t notice how much other people weigh (unless they are extreme in either direction), so why do I think everyone else notices my weight so much… and if they do, why they even care!
I started a gratitude journal recently…. i need to be more consistent with it, but it has been super helpful…
Glad you had such a great vacation! I’m lovin the huge funnel cakes and the actual toaster! Hahaha
Also lovin’ your attitude 🙂 Fat days are totally in your head!
Girl, you’ve been busy- good for you, it looks like you had a great time 😀
I totally agree that fat days are in your heads. I’ve had friends tell me they “gained 5 lbs/lost 5 lbs this week” and all I think is…they always look the same!
Looks like you are having the time of your life! good for you!! I just wanted to stop by and say hi- I just started a blog of my own…but have been following yours for a while now. You are such an inspiration.
have a great 4th girl!! 🙂
How do you do it? Do you journal? Do you read blogs for inspiration? Do you read stuff? How do you get past the thoughts in your head that cause me to worry that everything eaten is wrong and will make a person fat or something?
How do you get energy again?
You are pretty amazing.