Jealousy

12 Mar

Hi Loves!

Sorry for my continued absence. I realize that I don’t have to apologize but I really would like to update this blog more. To be honest, it isn’t just because I’ve been busy that I haven’t been neglecting the blog. I’ve also been seeming to have, well, writer’s block. I know that each post doesn’t have to have some kind of dramatic realization, but at the same time I want to feel as though each post gets some kind of message across, and lately, I just haven’t been sure what message I want to express.

I wrote up a post about jealousy and hated it. But I still think jealousy is something I’d like to talk about because it is something that dictates so much of our culture and we so often don’t even realize it. The thing is, though, happiness is when you are truly happy with who you are, what you have, and your current situation.

We hear it so often, there will always be someone taller, faster, stronger, more beautiful, smarter, more outgoing, richer, more creative, whittier, etc. We know this, but yet all of us still manage to pick ourselves apart and long for something more, even if it simply a nice pair of designer jeans that the girl in math class wears. We want to be the best versions of ourselves we can possibly be. To some extent, this is good. Achievement is a part of life and we all have talents that should be directed in a positive way. However, after a certain point, it is so important to accept who you are as a person, and love yourself for it.

I think a lot of people with eating disorders are the kinds of people who are constantly seeking perfection. People who are overachievers and who can’t stand being less than the best. The problem is, being the “best” at everything is truly unachievable. I’m not always going to get an A, I won’t always be everyone’s best friend, and I won’t be the fastest runner or the girl who is in the best shape. and that is ok.

I’ve really been working on my relationship with myself. I have found times where I have been comparing and I sometimes honestly make a list of why I am happy to be me. This really helps bring me back to reality and put things into perspective.

I feel really preachy, but this issue really fuels my fire because it is something that affects me (and I’m sure many many others) every day. By being more aware of how I am affected by my jealousy/comparisons, I really think it helps me learn ways to be more accepting of myself.

A pivotal part of eating disorder recovery is simply being content with yourself. I am getting there, but I can’t say i’m all the way there yet & that is also ok. I believe i will always have some sense of self doubt because let’s be honest, we are our own worst critic, but that should only be in moderation and certainly not how we feel the majority of the time. I’m just sick of constantly comparing, and I am starting to realize what a waste of time it truly is.

My eats haven’t been very interesting whatsoever except one thing πŸ™‚ I treated myself to a lunch at whole foods *YUMMMM* I took this as an oppurtunity to challenge myself. I know it shouldn’t be a challenge, but I always get a little stressed thinking about all the oils used in the food when I go there. This time, I got what appealed to me, worry free! Of course I loaded up on veggies but I also added some sort of rice mix, chicken marsala, tofu, squash, etc. You get the picture πŸ˜› and if not… here’s a picture… hahha i’m sooooo funny.

& a zevia

My tummy was very happy & full!

I also got a salad from the cafe in the business school a few days ago (plenty of pretzels were eaten too)

& for a snack I tried the famous Oats in a jar for the first time!! I liked it, but I’m not obsessed.

Breakfasts have been nothing short of fabulous & delicious. I’ve enjoying lots of yogurt messes because fage 2% is on sale for 4 for $5

cascadian cinnamon crunch, dried cranberries/apple, kashi honey puffs, my two favvv pb&co peanut butters, banana, fage 2% underneath it all

the one below has some deliciouss marshmallow oaties in it (more were added after the picture)

& my favorite lunch has been eaten plenty of times. Not quite sure why I even bother taking a photo of this but heyyy, what can i say? honey mustard, turkey & cheese. yum.

& now I’m just relaxing, prob going to catch up on many of your lives, & then go hang out with the boy!! I am taking it easy this weekend in the name of studying for zoology.

Questions:

1) What are your weekend plans?

2) How does jealousy affect you? Do you feel like you are your own worst critic

I think next I am going to do a post reflecting on my recovery so far. I have been thinking about how far I’ve come and think it would be good for me and for all of you to see the improvements that have happened in this journey to health πŸ™‚


xoxooxoxox

Shelleyβ™₯

& I caved- ASK ME ANYTHING :]

Song of the moment: I Just Can’t Wait to be King from Lion King – i knowww, weird. But it came on my itunes and i just got so happy!! Play it while you read this post- just do it. haha.

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61 Responses to “Jealousy”

  1. Sara March 12, 2010 at 5:34 pm #

    So insightful….yes, I think everyone is affected by jealousy in some way (even those that have never had an ED)…it’s just so easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others which will always fall short.

    I’m at the point where I am trying to accept myself and my body for what is and who I am. Comparing only leads to further unhappiness down the road, and I’m just not willing to go through that again. I’m taking it day by day, and hopefully it will all come with time.

    ❀
    Sara

  2. Naomi (onefitfoodie) March 12, 2010 at 5:45 pm #

    totally agree with you about OIAJ…I do like it but not obsessed, I acutally find that the PB doesnt get all hot and melty like it does when I add it to my oats myself! however with an empty jar, i do lick it clean πŸ˜‰

    we totally are our own worst critics and it is super important to stay positive nad see ourselves inthe most beautiful of lights….sure we can have those bad days but for the most part, I try to embrace what I have!

    love you girl! have a great night!

  3. naturalnonsense March 12, 2010 at 5:50 pm #

    Girl – This post is spot on! I was nodding my head in agreement the whole time. I am VERY hard on myself! I work really hard at everything I do and am constantly trying to be the best. Sometimes I forget that’s a lot different than being MY best. I think as women we are our own worst enemies. I can have 50 people giving me the “good job” but I will still beat myself up about little mistakes. I have found that what makes me feel better about myself is complimenting and helping others. THAT is what makes me realize my worth – seeing a positive impact I can make on others’ lives. Moral of the story – you’re awesome and this made me smile πŸ™‚
    Oh, yeah – and your yogurt messes are off the chaaaain! I feel like that’s all I’ve been eating lately. Just too good to stop! Have a great weekend and enjoy your fella!

  4. Ashlei March 12, 2010 at 5:50 pm #

    lol Lion King rocks! πŸ™‚ It’s definitely great that you challenged yourself and enjoyed a WF’s meal! I love their hot bar, but I don’t eat it all the time so it’s ok πŸ™‚ I’m definitely my worst critic. Always a challenge to overcome. Hope you have a great weekend!

    xoxoxox

  5. Emily March 12, 2010 at 6:02 pm #

    everyone gets their bouts of jealousy, I know I do. It’s just a matter of dealing with it and not letting it consume my thoughts. If I’m feeling jealous, I usually put myself back into reality somehow; whether it be talking to my friends or therapist about how I feel, or listing all the great things that are true about myself.

    this weekend there are no specific plans for moi.
    I’ll hopefully be going to the movies πŸ™‚

    xoxo

  6. Jessica @ How Sweet It Is March 12, 2010 at 6:24 pm #

    I suffer from writers block ALL the time. I also suffer from jealously bigtime – it is something I’ve always had to work on.

  7. Melissa S. March 12, 2010 at 6:27 pm #

    oh jealousy. how you have been my best friend and worst enemy for so long. i def have a horrible time with all the comparing, and striving for a sort of perfection that really, just isn’t attainable because it’s factors/things from so many people that really, just can’t be formed into one! but realizing that what i have is good enough, and i’m unique in my own way makes getting past that jealousy that much easier.

  8. tatiannalives March 12, 2010 at 6:29 pm #

    Shelley!
    I recently ran into the same writers block problem.. and I decided that it’s alright if I don’t post every day πŸ™‚ Your blog (and YOU) are perfectly imperfect!

    I really struggle with jealousy and comparisons. If not with the people around me, I am constantly comparing myself to myself. I compare the meals that I eat and the exercise I do.. all the way down to the makeup I wear or how I chose to put up my hair. It is such a negative part of my life, and every day I try to get away from it. It has gotten so much better since I have been trying to live in the moment and not let other things affect my choices, but it is still there.

    Congrats on the two challenges! I can’t wait for the next post. Keep rocking my world girl πŸ˜‰
    xox
    Tat

  9. highonhealthy March 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm #

    I find that I don’t get jealous often, or at least never to the point that it can become poisonous. I’m not quite sure what I feel when I see someone skinnier, prettier, more fit, smarter, etc. than me. Maybe once it would have bothered me but now I’m finding that things like that don’t faze me as much – I’ll notice and then move on.

    PS. I love that song!
    PPS. Looking forward to your recovery post. πŸ™‚

  10. Caitlyn (Letters from the Oasis) March 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm #

    Nice post!
    I tend to get jealous of people that have financial help from their parents… because most of my trouble comes from money. Usually I know my jealousy has taken a turn for the worst when I start making “If/Then” statements, and I think that might be true for a lot of people.

    “If my parents paid for college, then I would never have to worry about debt again…then I could be happy”

    “If I had those designer jeans, then I would look so much sexier. Boys would like me more… Then I would be happy.”

    “If I was thinner, then I would be happy”…

    these “If … Then…” statements are really dangerous, and keep us from the only moment that matters… RIGHT NOW! We can be happy anytime we want if we commit to finding something positive to focus on. πŸ™‚

    ❀ Whole foods!

  11. Maggie @ Fit.Fun.Food March 12, 2010 at 6:53 pm #

    Going out for a fancy date night!

  12. Jenny March 12, 2010 at 6:59 pm #

    oh Shelley, sweet sweet Shelley, you are such a gem. This post is perfection. As my eating disorder became more severe, I started developing this incredibly strict “perfectionist” mentality that translated in to every aspect of my life — aside from just my body/food. Slowly but surely I’m learning that getting a B in school is HUMAN.. wearing sweatpants to class keeps us SANE. I strive to achieve contentment with myself each and every day and this post really reinforces that.

    So much love to you, beautiful girl!

  13. Lily @ Lily's Health Pad March 12, 2010 at 7:25 pm #

    I’m on board with your OIAJ thoughts. I can’t taste the PB when I eat them.

    I felt jealous more often when I was in college. Since I’ve graduated, I’m work in an environment with people of all ages and sizes. Not everyone is young and beautiful!

  14. Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine March 12, 2010 at 7:43 pm #

    I totally agree that jealousy is a huge part of ED. Looking at other thin girls always fueled me. I have to say though, I’ve come a long ways in accepting who I am….I think getting older helps, since high school is such an insecure time. I like the idea of writing down things you like about yourself, I’m going to do that next time I’m picking myself apart!

  15. chocolate pickle March 12, 2010 at 7:52 pm #

    Great post! Jealousy can be such a bad thing! And not only with ED….I like to think that I’m not a jealous person..I’ve gotten to a point in life where I’m happy with what I have:). But I have a friend who has insecurities and has shown her jealousy of my life sadly in ways that hurt my recovery…..like when I was at a very low point saying things like “get over it, you’re perfect….your life is perfect.” Jealousy can really hurt!
    On a positive note, I’m watching the Marquette game now and hopefully taking this weekend easy:) Have a good one!!!!!
    ❀
    Megan

  16. Jenna March 12, 2010 at 8:19 pm #

    what a great post shelley!
    i totally agree with you on the whole jealousy thing. i feel like i am always trying to seek perfection and never happy with myself!
    i can’t believe you have never had OIAJ before! i wasn’t a big fan either, but i do loveee yogurt mess in a jar…much bettter πŸ˜‰
    Jenna xoxo

  17. Kim March 12, 2010 at 8:28 pm #

    I think jealousy is a very important topic! For me, it comes from comparing myself to others, obviously. That was a big part of anorexia. Not so much with comparing bodies, but just comparing in general. I always felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I was always thinking of myself as “weird” because I wasn’t like everyone else. I’ve always been extremely self-critical. It’s only recently that I’ve started to let go of some of that. I don’t really care so much what others do/say/eat; I know what works for me. That cuts down on a lot of the jealousy πŸ™‚

    I’d love to read a post about your recovery so far! Do it! πŸ™‚

    As for weekend plans, we’re going to see my husband’s mom in a rodeo in Palm Springs tomorrow. Sunday, maybe some shopping along with the usual chores and errands.

  18. Meg's Gut March 12, 2010 at 8:35 pm #

    It is very true to say we are our worst critics…

    I love the eats you posted, the Whole Foods one looked delicious and the Zevia sounds very interesting, I haven’t heard of it before.

  19. Gracie @ Girl Meets Health March 12, 2010 at 8:37 pm #

    Thankfully I don’t suffer from jealousy much at all, however I did when I was younger. I wasn’t happy with my appearance until *maybe* high school, but moreso since then. I was always fair-skinned with freckles and all of my friends were tan. Looking back, it was such a waste of time!

    I think that jealousy is something that we’re always going to face, even if it’s just once in a while. I still come across people that I’m envious of – whether it’s their looks, lifestyle, job, etc. But I would say it’s mainly my faith in God that has made me realize that I’m special and unique and shouldn’t be jealous of others!

  20. rebecca lustig March 12, 2010 at 8:52 pm #

    you are tooooo cute ❀

    i deal with jealousy, comparisons (to others AND to myself). I think its definitely related to perfectionism, and is something I need to personally work on noticing, accepting and ignoring.

    have ag reat weekend!!
    bec ❀

  21. homecookedem March 12, 2010 at 9:19 pm #

    Great, great post!! I’m at this point in my life right now where I’m FINALLY beginning to love myself just as I am. I’ve always thought, “I’ll love myself when…” but I’m tired of that – I’m going to love myself NOW. There will always be someone more thoughtful than me, skinnier than me, better dressed than me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I matter and that I am fabulous in my own special way. Just as YOU are fabulous in YOUR way!! πŸ™‚

  22. Tori March 12, 2010 at 9:27 pm #

    Perfectionism and always wanting to be the best, are definetly ED qualities. I have been struggling too, coming to terms with loving who I am, JUST the way I am. It’s easier said than done though huh? But realizing what we need to work on is a good start!

    ❀ Tori

  23. Jess March 12, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

    Whole foods hot bar? OH MY–jealoussyyy (whoops πŸ˜‰ )

    My weekend plans? Driving part of drivers ed!
    ❀ jess
    xoxo

  24. Kristie March 12, 2010 at 10:10 pm #

    First off I adore that song. Not weird at all! I used to sing that song constantly just out of the blue, it’s definitely near the top of my Disney favs πŸ™‚

    I have plans for OIAJ tomorrow AM. Mmm. They’re great but you’re right, they’re overhyped!

    Jealousy is awful. I like to think I’m not as jealous as I used to be. I’m becoming (slowly) more comfortable with myself and who I am. It’s definitely a process though. And I still experience plenty of envy of others and dissatisfaction with many areas about myself, but often my watching and envying of others is in a more positive light, as watching the ways that people are doing things successfully and effectively, and how I can apply that to myself for my own benefit and self-improvement. I like to think I look to others for inspiration moreso than self-criticism. I’m definitely my own worst critic in many ways but I’m trying harder to knock negative self comments out of my head.

    Your posts are always great Lovely. Don’t feel pressured to always have a message, anything you have to say is great to read no matter what!

  25. Shelleysveryproudmom March 12, 2010 at 10:21 pm #

    I love you and I can’t wait to see you in less than 2 weeks! Great post!
    LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE,
    00xxMOMooxx

  26. kbwood March 12, 2010 at 10:24 pm #

    oh my gah i cannot wait to hear your next post!
    FIRST of all-your momma is ADORABLE!! (hehe she commented in front of me) I LOVE IT! she loves YOU!! so sweet!
    AHH jelously..its like we always want what we can have, right? i hate that. we need to appreciate what God has given us. there is something about yourself that everybody wants, and sometimes thats your least favorite part about yourself. soo ironic! girls are soo bad about that!
    love you shell-so thankful for you

  27. Danielle March 12, 2010 at 10:34 pm #

    I went to WF today for lunch and got almost the EXACT same things! We obviously have good taste πŸ˜‰

    I definitely think I’m my own worst critic. I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily jealous of other people…but I DO strive for *perfection*…which, like you said, isn’t possible!

  28. Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce March 12, 2010 at 10:49 pm #

    yay OIAJ! and WF lunch looks awesome. this is a great post shelley, i know that a lot of us struggle with perfectionism. for me jealousy isn’t as big of a problem as self-criticism, but they both stem from the same thing: not liking yourself, not being content with who you are. i’m workin on it πŸ™‚

  29. justjac March 13, 2010 at 12:06 am #

    Love Lion King!!
    Great post girl, so true about jealousy and comparisons. I try not to do it but everyone does to some extent, no? When I find myself comparing I remind myself that there are qualities ‘she’ might have that I don’t, but ones I have that she doesn’t… it took me a while to realize that guess what, at my height I cannot be as small as someone who is say 5 ft, so why compare what’s unrealistic?
    http://www.justjac.wordpress.com

  30. justjac March 13, 2010 at 12:06 am #

    My weekend plans include studying for a final (which I need to be doing right now πŸ˜‰ ), taking the final, babysitting and hanging out with the boy..

  31. Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) March 13, 2010 at 1:00 am #

    as you age you will be more comf in your own skin, less jealous of external things, and more zen, less anxiety. I think yoga is an amazing gift that you could give yourself to facilitate this more…and if not, you’re still totally amazing Shelley, dont beat yourself up re the jealousy, I dont think you are any more so than the next person. You just admit it πŸ™‚

  32. Kylee (Little Hat) March 13, 2010 at 1:47 am #

    I needed a post like this one more than anything lately. Thanks, beautiful! Love you (: -Kylee

  33. Marina March 13, 2010 at 2:08 am #

    I do get jealous sometimes. When I see some other girl, prettier, with better body. Or when somebody gets a better grade than me, and I know that I deserve it more.
    But jealousy isn’t my biggest problem. I’m just not happy with myself, and that’s a huge problem which I need to resolve pretty fast.

  34. onehealthyapple March 13, 2010 at 2:33 am #

    Love your song of the day! It’s too cute- like you πŸ™‚

    I think everyone gets jealous. I used to get crazy wedding envy when I was planning. I think the important thing to realize is that we are each pretty damn awesome and much better off than we think! I still get jealous of people who have more time, have an easier time controlling their schedules/workouts/whatever but I try to remember that I am lucky just the way I am!

  35. sophia March 13, 2010 at 3:36 am #

    Shelley, I totally agree with you, and this post was spot on….anorexia is a constant search for perfection, and a vicious cycle of self-comparison and jealousy. My anorexia started from a little streak of jealousy and rivalry I had with my cousin, which later backfired and turned into something even more vicious than petty sibling relationships.

    But it definitely stems from a failed relationship with ONEself. I was totally insecure, and looking at other people’s beauty, intellect, achievements, etc made me even more insecure.

  36. balancingfoodandlife March 13, 2010 at 3:49 am #

    I feel the same way about oiaj! Good, but not so amazing tha tI can hardly wait till the next jar I finish yenno?

    This weekends gonna be work, work, and oh yeah, a bit more work! 😦 Fun stuff I tell ya.

    I do feel like I’m my own worst critic, but thats because I know myself better than anyone else does, and, I spend 24/7 with myself.. so i’m bound to find some problems πŸ˜›

    xoxoxo!

  37. julia March 13, 2010 at 5:11 am #

    Greta to see a new post and I love your WF lunch!

    You’re so right. Perfection is something we all want, but at the same time can never achieve. Embrace yourself the way you are and live your life to the fullest…that”s all we can do:)
    Doing great girl, you know I’m always there right?!

    xxx Julia (Taste of Living)

  38. Simply Life March 13, 2010 at 7:19 am #

    YUM! I love that WF salad bar!

  39. MelissaNibbles March 13, 2010 at 7:37 am #

    Great post. I’m not going to lie and say that ED doesn’t creep into my head, especially when there are other stresses in my life. It still reminds me that I’m not the skinniest girl in the room and that I’m nothing special because of it. It still congratulates me when I am the skinniest person in a room too. I tell it to shut up and leave me alone. It’s tough, but as long as I stand up to the voice, I’m okay. Thanks for talking about this!

    Your marshmallow oats look SO gooooood!! How do you make them? Have a fun weekend! Get in lots of trouble πŸ˜‰

  40. Can You Stay for Dinner March 13, 2010 at 7:49 am #

    Great post about jealousy! You are so right about the negativity that comes along with constantly comparing ourselves to others. I am so guilty of this. But I really do sit down and think of all the things that I love in my life and all that I have become and I try to truly cherish that.
    I think it’s so important to realize, like you said,that we can be our own worst critics. We can’t let the perfectionism get the best of us.
    Thanks for such a poignant discussion!
    I’m excited to spend the weekend with my best friend on her birthday!
    Have a great Saturday darling!!

  41. katyainsf March 13, 2010 at 9:37 am #

    Oh I am definitely my own worst critic! It’s so annoying…All these things you listed ring so true and I’m learning to ignore the bitter little voices and filter out the good ones, that know perfection is impossible but are so shut out of the conversation that they rarely get to speak their point. (ok, I’ve gone all multiple-personality on you hehe) As for the weekend – I have it off, so PARTAYYY! Kidding…lol I’m spending it with my bf :-))) XOX

  42. Amanda @ . seek . March 13, 2010 at 10:27 am #

    Ohhh, girl, I’m definitely my own worst critic. I struggle big time with perfectionism…. nothing ever feels good enough, I always feel like I should do/be better. I think you’re completely right that we need to accept ourselves as we are… nobody can be perfect; if there’s even such a thing as perfect.

    I’m looking forward to your recovery post πŸ™‚

  43. Kelly March 13, 2010 at 12:01 pm #

    I don’t usually find myself getting jealous of other people but rather jealous of myself. Is that weird? Like I am constantly rating myself based on the past and I get jealous…random. My husband lumps that into “stinkin thinkin” and so I try really hard to NOT do it when I slip into that pattern. But no doubt it can be hard!

    LOVE THE LION KING!

  44. Sara K March 13, 2010 at 1:08 pm #

    Totally agree! My previous perfectionistic tendencies had me comparing myself with everything and anything until I realized that I was being unproductive and just lessening my self esteem- obviously I can’t be the best at everything, and once I took myself out of the ‘competition’ in my head, I felt so much more relaxed πŸ™‚
    Love your eats per usual…and I agree I’m not nutso over oats in a jar…or oats at all…I love my yoghurt messesssss :).
    Weekend plans: Shopping today, out for a nice dinner with some of my homies…partying…making mojitos…and a sh!tload of homework. Joy. xoxo

  45. lowandbhold March 13, 2010 at 2:42 pm #

    Lately I’m really jealous of people in happy relationships. I get pretty lonely after being single for two years but not having the ability to open up after my last heartbreak. But I believe it will work out in the end.

    You’re amazing girl, thanks for this post.

  46. Sweet Cheeks March 13, 2010 at 3:01 pm #

    I am definitely my own worst critic. I hate to say it, but it is true. I think it’s true for most of us…we really should see all the greatness that everyone else sees in ourselves. I am going to make an effort to do so!

    Have a great weekend! xoxo

  47. Heather March 13, 2010 at 4:11 pm #

    I know I am definately my own worst critic! Whenever I start to think like that though I have to take a step back, re-evaluate what’s goin on in my mind and usually I get back on track with my thinking.

  48. whydeprive March 13, 2010 at 5:11 pm #

    In my grade 12 writing class, we had an assignment to write a list of reasons why we were awesome.
    That was at the peak of my eating disorder, and making the list was hard. Its mostly things I like about my personality (which I still think it just about perfect) but it helped SO MUCH. I dont have anywhere near the amount of jealousy, and it did wonders for my self confidence.
    I still have it, and I keep it in my purse. Best thing Ive ever done for myself.

  49. Gabriela (froyolover) March 13, 2010 at 6:06 pm #

    Hahahaha – I love that song!
    πŸ˜‰
    But, seriously. YouΒ΄re so right, Shelley. WeΒ΄ll never achieve perfection. So why worry about not beeing the tallest, thinnest or the smartest? LifeΒ΄s about learning to love ourselves, too.
    Thanks for the amazing lesson/post, girl!
    Have a great weekend πŸ™‚

  50. katie March 13, 2010 at 7:39 pm #

    Ahhhhhh the so critical word jealousy : p

    Yes we all have that in our lives somehow, but we just have to not let it eat at us, its good to have a little jealousy, it’s what makes us human, ya know : ) you just got to remember we are all unique and we each have our own amazing qualities and beauty!!

    Now yay for OIAJ!!!!!!!! So glad you tried it and what better way than with Cinnamon Raisin Swirl! Yum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love you girl!! Weddings are the best!! So nice your cousin is getting married this summer!!!

    I love Lion King!!! It was one of my fave Disney Movies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love you!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo

  51. Sarah March 13, 2010 at 8:04 pm #

    Love that song too! I memorized all the lines when I was young, and of course I sing all the parts now. I’m a weirdo ; )
    Great post. I’m a HUGE perfectionist which can actually be really inhibiting. Have a good weekend love!

  52. A@ Please Don't Eat Me! March 13, 2010 at 11:21 pm #

    i definitely think we are our own worst enemies in life, we pick ourselves to pieces.. whats left after that???

    love the lion king, one of my favorites! : )

  53. imaginenamaste March 13, 2010 at 11:30 pm #

    I couldn’t agree with you more that a BIG part of recovery is being content with yourself!
    Thanks for all your comments lately, it means a lot in these crrraazzzy days!

  54. blueeyedheart March 13, 2010 at 11:32 pm #

    I’m definitely my own worst critic… at least, I hope I am! πŸ˜‰ It’s weird, though, because if someone is trying to be the best version of themselves, is it really jealousy? I mean, if they’re not actively able to point to someone else and say, “I want to be like THAT.”

    ❀ ❀

  55. Johanna March 14, 2010 at 5:19 am #

    very good post girl!

    yes i think you are your own worst critic! in my worst time of anorexia my mind was busy with comparing myself to others all day. There was a girl in my school who lost a lot of weight at the same time and i always thought i just have to be as skinny as her…. we both gained back weight two years afterwards…and at our english class trip to london i got to know her better and we actually became friends… lately she lost weight again and i have to say i am still, as much as i donΒ΄t want to admit it, struggeling with jealousy…but i am working on it….i have to accept that i am beautiful in my own way…!

    very inspiring post!

  56. The Candid RD March 14, 2010 at 7:23 am #

    I have always had a problem with jealousy, but I’m never open about it. I think the key is for people to view you as confident, and then they will find you attractive. I have some friends who are always complaining about little things on their body, ALWAYS. It makes me think they are unattractive because they aren’t confident. Confidence is EVERYTHING!

    Not obsessed with oats in a jar?!?!?! WHAT?! Haha, jk, I am not a fan at all actually. Glad you’re honest with yourself πŸ™‚ I mean, it’s not that great!

    Have a great “end of the weekend”! Way to challenge yourself with food. Keep up the good work.

  57. glidingcalm March 14, 2010 at 9:35 am #

    I often think that it isn’t so much that I am jealous, or comparing myself, but that, being a perfectionist, I hold the bar way too high for myself. I need to be kinder to myself, and it is something I am really working on!!

    Another fabulous post!!! We love your blog for you, so feel free to write as you would like! We all return just cuz we got mad love for Shelley!

    happy Sunday baby gurrrrrrl!

  58. Mitri March 14, 2010 at 9:57 am #

    When I think of jealousy, I think of someone actively coveting another’s looks, abilities, etc and wishing they could take it from that other person for themselves. On that note, I don’t really feel like I’m a jealous person. Do I ever wish I was as good at something as someone else? Yes. But I respect that they are good at it themselves and know that, in some ways, I am good at whatever I’m good at, too.

    I have too much of an ego to be jealous of someone else πŸ˜‰ haha just kidding. But I am a bit of a perfectionist like you said!

  59. The Voracious Vegan March 14, 2010 at 10:17 am #

    What an awesome post! So thoughtful and heartfelt, I loved it!

    No, jealousy has no part in my life. We are all amazing and magnificent in our own ways, I do things and think things that no other human being does, and so do you. We should never compare ourselves to others! We are all perfect just the way we are.

    Your food looks so delicious!

  60. ilanalala March 14, 2010 at 11:45 am #

    Shelley, this is really a beautiful post. It’s so easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to those around you, especially when you’re fighting with yourself over this distorted perception of what is ideal and what is perfect.

    I had this crazy moment last week in Pilates – a new woman had joined the class and she was pretty good, and suddenly I got nervous for myself, as if her being good somehow made me less good. And maybe the third time she came to class and got her form picked apart by one of the teachers made me a little happier than it should have, which really surprised me because I never knew I was competitive. I think we learn a lot about ourselves when the Green-Eyed monster comes to pay a visit, because sometimes it can happen unexpectedly.

    Thanks for this post – so much to think about ❀

  61. theemptynutjar March 14, 2010 at 6:26 pm #

    I am so familar with jealousy. In fact….its been another contributor to my downfall. You have a good head on your shoulders….you are headed to amazing things in life Shelly.

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