**update about “vegan” friend: we ate at Cosi for dinner and she ordered a chicken casear salad. we talked about it and she didn’t truly plan to follow a strict vegan diet, but rather make healthier choices overall and try to eat vegan when she can. I am not at all concerned about her, as I know she will not deprive herself and think the vegan thing isn’t something she is going to truly do.**
Tuesday was a pretty good day! I had a really typical lunch- turkey/swiss wrap with pretzel thins, annie’s chocolate chip bunnies, an apple & laughing cow cheese
At 2:30 I had a meeting with a medical doctor at the University Health Services. She was so sweet. My weight went up slightly from last week, which is really great!! I knew this doctor was going to inform me about my exercise abilities.
I am happy to say she said I can either run 3 times a week for 1 mile or do one day of powerflow yoga and one day of running a mile. I know it isn’t much, but I honestly will take anything at this point 🙂 From there, they will be monitoring how my weight responds.
My afternoon snack was the oatmeal raisin cookie chewy kashi bar
I had humo practice and then I went to Cosi to eat with two friends. I ordered the lobster bisque butternut squash soup and tomato basil mozzarella light sandwich and also had an apple.. delicious!! I loved the big pieces of mozzarella cheese 🙂
I then was studying my butt off the rest of the night. When snack time came around, I ate a Kashi peanut butter butter granola bar with a trail mix from walgreens.
I went to bed way too late because I was talking with people on my floor- oops! But when I woke up all I wanted was Yoatgurt/Yoats (w/e)!! LOL. I had 1/2 cup oats cooked in water with strawberry chobani, 1/4 cup of peanut butter bumpers, almond butter & cinnamon raisin swirl, & a banana
I had zoology & music 101 and then I took an amazing & much needed nap. lunch was a honey mustard turkey & swiss sandwich with the usual
as you all can see- I tend to eat very similar things for lunches. I truly believe this is not a result of my eating disorder, but rather a result of me not wanting to think and so I go to this lunch because I know I like it. Despite this, I really want to try to switch it up a little. It is ok to have this lunch but it is getting really repetitive. Plus, the turkey is processed and there are other healthy options I can choose too.
The problem is that my choices are limited :-\ I am going to really try to switch things up though- it is a challenge 🙂 we’ll see how it goes!
anywhoo- so after lunch I hung out and napped with my boyy before my afternoon class. Lots of napping? haha oh well.
Then I went for my first mile long run!!! ahh I was honestly so excited. Not only that, but I avoided the treadmill. You see, in my worst eating disorder days I was kind of like a slave to the treadmill. I was obsessed with the distance, calories, etc. etc. and so I chose today to run on the track. It felt great and i’m going to try to do it as much as possible. I want to have a very healthy relationship with running this time around 🙂
I didn’t take a picture of my afternoon snack, but I did picture dinner! Big salad with chicken, eggs, & feta & light ranch dressing with izze, baked doritos (omg so good..haven’t had these in forever) & an apple.
So today my roommate and I decided to clean up a bit! I started organizing my desk area and realized I had so many magazines that I had yet to throw away.
Look at the magazines…
notice- they are all about health/fitness/diets/etc. Now i’m not going to preach about how I think these magazines are bad for teens/woman because they promote weight loss and/or can cause body image issues, etc. but I am going to talk about how this just made me realize how consumed in my eating disoder I was. I was drawn to magazines like these. Despite how thin I already was, I was always so interested in the “perfect” diet or the exercise that burns the most calories.
I had limited my interests to fitness, diet, and running and I was constantly reading things with messages like:
UGH. Most girls my age would probably reach for cosmo or some other gossip magazine and while these aren’t exactly the best choices either, it is much more of the norm. I can honestly say I am not tempted to pick these magazines up anymore and that just shows me that I really am becoming less consumed with eating disorder thoughts.
I am proud of how far i’ve come. I told Gardner today that I truly love my body right now. I didn’t think i’d be able to accept the gain. I didn’t think i’d like it and I thought I would miss my old, scrawny body.
I don’t miss it one bit. I haven’t been this happy since my eating disorder started. And honestly, though things are not perfect (I still have a few pounds to go) and I definitely do struggle sometimes, I am never going back. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel… and it truly shines.
1. How do you feel about health/fitness magazines? Do you read em? why or why not? you know my answer 🙂
2. Any ideas for new & easy lunches for meee? i’m gettin bored over here!
3. What was your favorite junk food as a kid? I loved doritos, anything chocolate, french fries and hamburgers (preferably from McDonalds), and a whole lot more where that came from!
ps- if i haven’t been commenting, i’m sorry! I love you all so much but balancing school among other things with blogging is getting tough!