It’s about life

9 Feb

Good Morning!

This post is a bit wordy, so you may want to get a snack, or get comfy, or whatever it may be! I have a lot to say and so i guess it just has to be i want it to beΒ said! haha

Monday started (and ended for that matter haha) like any other. Except for one thing: my mindset. I felt great, positive, and motivated.

Breakfast was (in the room) a delicious yogurt mess. I have a lot of food in my room right now so I have been eating breakfast in the room this week. It saves time (aka..more sleep!!) but i’ll be back in the cafeteria for breakfast soon enough!

yumm.. oh so filling & OH so delicious. fage 2%, cinnamon raisin swirl, raw almond butter, 1 cup kashi honey puffs, craisins, banana, and voila.

I went to zoology, where I was pleased that my teacher remembered me (this is like an 800 person class split between two lectures) and approached me before class to discuss my questions about tutoring! yay.

Then I had Music 101… did econ homework during it. At least I accomplished something? Then went to Econ discussion where I legitimately was more confused after I left. annoying. The TA is nice but she doesn’t speak english well at all, making it very hard for students like me to understand anything she says..

Anywho, I had to quickly consume lunch because I got out of class at 1 and had a 1:45 therapy appointment.

standard. easy. thoughtless. delicious.

Therapy went very well. It was funny, after the session my therapist pointed out that we only talked about food for a fraction of the time. She explained that with my new energy i am able to talk about life.” I left feeling proud, empowered, and accomplished.

Usually I stress about eating dinner with the sorority on Monday Nights but today I didn’t let it bother me. I had no clue what they’d be serving but decided I would survive and just to go and eat! I ate two meatballs, a serving or two of brown rice, lots of veggies, a little and DELICIOUS roll and I was good! Success.

I also got a position I wanted in my sorority called K.R.O.M which stands for “keep recruiting our members” where I will plan sisterhood events for the whole chapter. Does anyone have ideas for fun, not too expensive activities I can do with my sorority? Some ideas I have include: tie-dye party, monthly dinner groups with different girls, going to see valentines’ day, weekly movie nights at the house, trip to Wisconsin Dells, etc.

Oh, and I hope this doesn’t come off as bragging/boasting, and honestly tell me if I am but I won this award!!!:

I also stopped at Red Mango after!! I was supposed to have a blogger meet up there tonight but it fell through 😦 At least I got to enjoy it! I ordered the medium original with pomegranate and then added some almonds and hazelnut spread! SO good!!! This snack filled my meal plan perfectly too!

Best of all, I still ate a snack a few hours later because I missed my afternoon one! I had a peanut butter pretzel clif mojo bar with a huge pear! I didn’t feel guilty- not one bit.

The whole day, my mindset was incredibly positive. I realized how happy I am and how much more energized I feel!

Dinner at the sorority was great food-wise but one thing that really stood out was something this girl mentioned in her post yesterday: FAT TALK. I will not elaborate too much on my opinion because it mirror’s Jenny’s so much so read her post but I will say I was shocked by how much of the talk at the dinner table was fat talk. One girl is going vegan for a month to lose weight. Another girl didn’t eat anything because she wants to lose weight and doesn’t think the food is healthy enough. Everyone was talking about weight!! It really saddens me but at the same time for once I was able to not feel triggered. Listening to fat talk and not being directly upset/affected by it was one of the most freeing experiences i’ve had thus far.

Now, the girl who is choosing to go vegan to lose weight is one of my best friends but her choice bothers me for many reasons:

1) being vegan does not necessarily mean you will lose weight!! obviously.

2) the fact that she is choosing to go vegan to lose weight frankly belittles the intentions of vegans who do it for the right reasons.

3) even if she does lose weight, as soon as she goes back to eating the way she normally does she will probably gain it again! quick fix’ diets simply do not work, nor are they healthy!

4) she doesn’t know the first thing about being a vegan and she certainly does not know about the nutrients she might be lacking from her diet

5) She made this decision after reading Skinny Bitch. A book that, honestly, irritates the hell out of me.

Nonetheless, I let my strong opinions stay quiet (for once). I did tell her I don’t think it is a good plan but I don’t want to be too pushy. Maybe i could help her by offering her some recipes that i’ve seen around the blog world? I don’t know.

well, I think that is all i’ve got for now! I’ll leave you with Tuesday’s rockstar breakfast:


1/2 cup oats, 1 2% fage, 1 banana, 2 tbsp peanut butter, 1/2 cup kashi honey puffs!

xoxoxoxox

Shelleyβ™₯

Questions- any ideas for me for events for my sorority? girls only πŸ™‚

how do you respond when a friend wants to do a fad diet you disagree with?

Giveaways:

Check out Lauren’s giveaway for some amazing goodies!!

Also, check out Gabriela’s peanut butter giveaway- love ittt!!

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80 Responses to “It’s about life”

  1. Lily @ Lily's Health Pad February 9, 2010 at 10:47 am #

    How about bowling? Or doing a secret sister gift exchange. I can’t remember what my sorority did. I do remember that position though.

  2. Sara February 9, 2010 at 10:48 am #

    CONGRATS on the GPA award girl!!! you deserve it. I consider myself to be really lucky because none of my friends really “fat talk” or maybe it’s just not around me….

    I would just let her make her own decision and learn from it. Sooner or later she’ll realize that it’s a “quick fix” and it’ll probably fade…

    have a good day, πŸ™‚
    Sara

  3. funfashionista February 9, 2010 at 10:49 am #

    i like the movie night idea for your sorority, or like a premier party for the start of gossip girl?! and congrats on getting the highest GPA award, thats amazing even with everything you have going on. you must be an awesome girl.
    i try to avoid people who have weird diets.. my one friend has an ED but hasnt gotten help for it and refuses any so ive def distanced myself from her as it was veryy triggering for me. ive been better with not letting what other people eat affect me though.
    keep it up gorgeous!!!
    amy<3

  4. Kristie February 9, 2010 at 10:50 am #

    Heh… if I had started eating vegan to lose weight I would be sadly disappointed for sure – hello delicious vegan baked goods? πŸ™‚ That would be frustrating to be around all that fat talk (ED or not). So sorry our meet-up fell through! Glad you still enjoyed some – the toppings look very yummy.

  5. *Andrea* February 9, 2010 at 10:53 am #

    my roommate is doing similar fat talk plans – she’s living off 100 cal special k bars and miso soup until she ‘loses 15 lbs.’ it’s hard not to comment on it and to not judge but the best thing, in my opinion, is to just IGNORE fat talk and BE HAPPY with our own, healthy decisions. focusing on others (unless they are in serious harm/danger) is just not positive energy and honestly, if ppl want to crash diet or binge drink or chain smoke, it’s their choice! all we can do is offer advice if asked and be there as a friend. so hard to do though when fat talk is EVERYWHERE in college.

  6. *Andrea* February 9, 2010 at 10:55 am #

    ps CONGRATS on the award!!! keep working hard and doing your thing πŸ™‚ you’re setting a great example for other sorority members – to be HEALTHY, HAPPY and MOTIVATED!

  7. Danielle February 9, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    I loved this post πŸ™‚ I hear all the same fat talk too, and it makes me sad when I hear someone is going on a lemon pepper “cleanse” or a 1,200 cal diet (gah). And yes, it sort of irks me that people think going vegan is a lose-weight quick fix. I get really put off by that and it’s not safe if you don’t know about nutrition nor is is guarenteed that you’ll lose any weight!

  8. meg February 9, 2010 at 11:01 am #

    We were really into project runway when I was in the house, and had viewing parties for that. I know it goes along with movie night, but if you had a show you were all into it made me feel “welcomed” as a new member and gave me an opportunity to hang at the house with some of the new pledge class…also, boring, but study groups for big intro classes was helpful.

  9. Marina February 9, 2010 at 11:02 am #

    I hate it when my friends talk about getting fat. They eat a lot of crappy foods, and I know they are annoyed by my eating habbits, so when they say, like, “ooh, this is so going to make me fat”, I just feel like they are doing it on purpose to annoy me.
    I hate stupid diets, I think that none of them are or can be good, and this, vegan for a month, is a silly idea. I just hope she won’t have too many health problems because of the lack of information about vegan diet and nutrients.

  10. Naomi (onefitfoodie) February 9, 2010 at 11:03 am #

    painting? we have a place called plaster fun time and the clay room and you can go and plaint ceramics, its fun!! you could go an each paint a bowl or plate! I think going to see a chick flick is a graet idea toO!

    congrats on that award girl! you deserve it!

    ohh red mango sounds awesome!!! too bad yoru blogger meet up fell through but hey, you got some awesome yog πŸ™‚

    thats awesome that you can listen to this ‘fat talk; and not feel triggered by it…sign you have come such a long way!!

    xxoox

  11. Erika (Dr. TriRunner) February 9, 2010 at 11:05 am #

    Hey chicky – I think the fact that you were able to not let the dinner time talk affect you is one of the BEST signs of all!! Truthfully, it’s part of life. Girls talk like that all of the time.. and most of them will never even act on their words. Good for you for staying “above” alla that. πŸ˜‰

    Activities – I would definitely try and do some volunteer projects as a house! You’ll get all of the QT together, but you’ll also leave with a feel-good attitude and be doing great things at the same time! Serve at a soup kitchen, put together care packages, etc. Let me know if you want any more volunteer-oriented ideas.. we’ve done lots of them!

  12. seekmyself February 9, 2010 at 11:08 am #

    Shelley, I’m completely with you on this one… I hate fat talk! Society is obsessed with weight, fad diets, and senseless claims; you can’t go a day without being bombarded by some sort of diet propaganda. It seems like there’s always someone new telling us what to eat and what’s best for us. What ever happened to listening to our OWN bodies? Is that considered old fashioned now? Out of date? Are we not with the times if we don’t follow the latest diet trends? Ridiculous…

    So great to hear that the fat talk wasn’t triggering to you, love. You’re amazing!

  13. Karin February 9, 2010 at 11:12 am #

    Congratulations for the award! That’s fabulous! πŸ™‚ Oh dear.. girls and their fat talk… There’s so much to write about this topic but I love what you wrote about it, especially about your friend who wants to go vegan for weight loss.

  14. quarterlifewellness February 9, 2010 at 11:14 am #

    OMG girl, can I say the hairs on my arm stood on end when you mentioned skinny bitch!! AHHH that book annoys me! You are so right that being vegan/vegetarian is not for everyone, and I hate that they try to use it as a quick fix. Im about to blog about this now and u are getting a shout out for inspiration!

  15. Bethany February 9, 2010 at 11:14 am #

    congrats on the much-deserved award, love! that’s awesome!! Some fun ideas…bonfires (if you have those capabilities where you are), boardgame tourneys, pretend camping (me and my friends do this all the time….set up a tent-like fort [or a tent] in a livingroom, roast marshmallows over large candles [haha]. etc.), have themed nights (bollywood nights are always fun!)….etc. And on the subby of fat talk…it drives me bonkers! i live in a house with 6 other girls, so as you can imagine this gets brought up a lot. i finally sat them down and explained to them that it not only hurts me, but themselves, and our house is now fattalk-free! maybe when you get more comfortable with these girls, you can help them see that this is extremely harmful as well. sorry that was novel-length!

  16. fullofwhimsy February 9, 2010 at 11:25 am #

    Hey,

    Thanks for the comment on my blog. πŸ™‚ I feel like we are about on the same point in recovery; I can really relate to you a lot too!

    Congrats on the award!! You shouldn’t feel like you are boasting or bragging by showing it!! You obviously worked hard and deserve it!

    All of your eats look yummy. And I’m totally with you on the “fat talk”. That’s awesome that it wasn’t triggering for you. That shows how strong you are in your recovery right now.

    Well, I will definitely be following your blog! I hope to get to know you better. πŸ™‚

  17. Rachael February 9, 2010 at 11:32 am #

    Congratulations of getting that reward! Maybe you could all go to a color me mine sort of place? Or to a midnight screening of a movie? I don’t know, I’ll have to keep thinking!
    Oh fat talk. 😦 It’s sad how “normal” body bashing is, that girls all talking about how fat and/or unattractive they are is something not out of the ordinary. As for your friend, I feel the same way you do regarding her month of veganism. When my friends are dieting or something I tend to keep quiet about it. I feel like they would think I was a major hypocrite if I were to give advice on health!

    Rachael*

  18. Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine February 9, 2010 at 11:59 am #

    My best friend is social chair of her sorority and did a “sister” themed scavenger hunt with a combination of silly/sorority items on it (have someone pose with you to make the Greek letters, cheesiest sister bday card you can find, find an actual set of sisters).

    Good for you for not feeling triggered! I hate fat talk, too. Not only does it sometimes make me feel inadequate, but often people are SO misinformed. I remember high school (when I was still restricting) girls eating Slim-Fasts as lunch and cutting down my own intake because I couldn’t let them eat less than me. Stupid, right? Fad diets are never healthy!

  19. Cassie February 9, 2010 at 11:59 am #

    Congrats on having such an AWESOME day!

    Oh man, talking to people about diets is so tricky for me. My friends and loved ones tend to share their dieting adventures with me often (because they think they’re being “healthy” and automatically think of me), and while I’m so happy and proud of them for trying to make healthful decisions, it’s everything I can do sometimes to not scream, “DIETS DON’T WORK!” Gah! So frustrating.

    I’m really big on supporting people in whatever works for them, though, so I try to remind myself of that. It kills me when I know someone isn’t eating enough/missing out on nutrients, though. So hard not to say something. Plus, I don’t want to come off as a know-it-all, you know?

    Oye. Dieting is such a touchy subject.

  20. kbwood February 9, 2010 at 12:06 pm #

    GIRL congrats on not stressing about your dinner w. the soririty!! you are doing SO great shelley! i KNOW its not easy but you are dominating recovery.

    baaaa i HATE fat talk. my bff used to say stuff like that all the time-but its all about being honest. you need to be honest w. your friend and tell her if it bothers you, if she is a good friend then she will understand. i usually speak up when fat talk is going around me, and mention how luck we are to have TWO legs to walk on, and a body to take care of. God created us perfect in His eyes..we dont need to change!

  21. lunchiemunchies February 9, 2010 at 12:15 pm #

    This “fat talk” is so sad 😦 I think we should start a massive love yourself movement! There are lots of girls at uni at the moment starting new “go to the gym every day” ” only healthy foods” “no snacking” plans to lose weight when they are perfectly healthy and beautiful as they are….good on you for doing what’s right for you all the same and huge congrats on your award.
    I don’t know what a “sorority” is but it sounds like a lot of fun!
    E xoxoxxoxo

  22. julia February 9, 2010 at 12:17 pm #

    Congrats with the award and position! And with all these things you’ve done, I’m so proud of you! And isn’t it true…doing it makes it easier:)

    xxx Julia (Taste of Living)

  23. Kelly February 9, 2010 at 12:22 pm #

    Congrats on the award…you are a rockstar!! woot woot!

  24. feetinmotion February 9, 2010 at 12:38 pm #

    My roommate is reading that book “Skinny Bitch.” She borrowed it from her friend that has loaned it to like every girl they know. I haven’t even looked or asked what it’s about but I don’t even like the title. She did say it was kind of a diet book and I just think “diets” are ridiculous. Anyone can eat whatever they want, it’s just about moderation! I just wish people could be happy with the way they look and if they aren’t then take a healthy approach to lose the weight such as burning more carbs than the amount you take in. I think those girls and their fat talk is just outrageous! I’m glad you are strong and that doesn’t effect you! It shows how far you’ve come.

  25. MelissaNibbles February 9, 2010 at 12:43 pm #

    Congrats on the award.
    I think you should bring a bunch of printed out recipes from different blogs to your friend and offer to help her make some instead of her going vegan.
    A fun event we used to do in college is have “ItsUrDay!” parties. You pick one girl and throw her a party like a birthday party for no reason other than just to surprise her and make her feel special. She gets a cake and presents. It’s fun!

  26. Meg February 9, 2010 at 1:01 pm #

    I couldn’t agree more with this, Shelley. People are so misinformed about dietary preferences, and just go with what they think they know. Veganism is something that should come out of something more than losing weight – I totally agree. Hopefully you can talk to her about it and come to a conclusion with her that changing diets so quickly can be dangerous, and especially for a college student – cutting back on calories can be so harmful to our energy levels, and health, and we are proof of that!

    Love you girl!

  27. Emily (http://funnyemily.wordpress.com) February 9, 2010 at 1:20 pm #

    shelley you rock, end of story. way to go on eating dinner at the house πŸ™‚
    you could do a movie/tv show night for the sorority…with popcorn of course!
    i hate fat talk so much, it makes me so sad to hear it.
    happy tuesday beautiful!
    xoxo

  28. Jenna February 9, 2010 at 1:22 pm #

    Congrats on staying positive and not feeling guilty at all!
    I was just wondering how you fit all of your breaky into that little yog container?! Mine is always overflowin on mee!

    • Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth) February 9, 2010 at 1:23 pm #

      what do you mean? most of my breakfast was in the bowl before

  29. Jenna February 9, 2010 at 1:24 pm #

    Oh I see now! You didn’t squeeze it all in one container! You put it in a bowl..duh! My bad.
    Definitely looks like a rockstar breaky! I haven’t tried the oats and yog mess yet- perhaps I should get on that asap πŸ˜‰
    Jenna xo

  30. Abby February 9, 2010 at 1:34 pm #

    As a vegan, I am proud to say I eat a well balanced diet of fruits, veggies, grains, etc BUT I do know “vegans” who munch of chips/pasta all day long. I feel bad for your friend who is choosing that route simply for weight loss… it should be a lifestyle choice.. not a quick diet fix.

  31. elif February 9, 2010 at 1:48 pm #

    increased my knowledge by reading this article, i enjoyed =)

  32. Angela February 9, 2010 at 2:03 pm #

    I hate fat talk! It’s so hard not to get sucked in to it and start doing it too that just shows how strong you are and how far you have come!!

  33. Kelsey February 9, 2010 at 2:04 pm #

    For sorority events, how about celebrating Random Acts of Kindness week and going out as a group to chalk stealth Operation Beautiful messages around your neighborhood/campus? Unless you’re belly-button-deep in snow like we are in MN…then Post-It Notes work well too!

  34. Missy Maintains February 9, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

    Congrats on the award! I hate fat talk too. Usually it is from thin beautiful girls too. I might do it but in my head..not outloud (also something I need to work on). Hope your friend realizes that veganism is not the appropriate way to lose weight.

  35. Chrysta February 9, 2010 at 2:40 pm #

    Hey sweetie!! Congrats on the award!! Yeyeye! And great job on not stressin girl…seriously you are awesome!!!

    I so hate fat talk and it bugs me. Certain friends of mine, the second I hang out with them its all they talk about. This diet or that diet. Personally, not in a bad way, but I dont care too much. Just eat and be happy! thats what I say. I had a friend on the cookie diet…need I go on?? She talked about how awesome it was..I supported her (even though i couldn’t stop thinking how horrible it was for you) but I wouldn’t want anyone telling me how to eat. Now had she asked me my opinion I would have told her=) haha! Ahh well…what are you going to do?? I think we need to stop all this diet-y fat talk and start telling ourselves how gorgeous we are. Cause lets face it, we are all awesome! Have a fantastic day!

  36. Molly February 9, 2010 at 2:57 pm #

    I HATE fat talk. I notice it A LOT from my guy friends actually. weird, huh? One of my friends just went on a “veggie pizza” diet (wtf?) where she eats two slices of veggie pizza a day. seriously. I dont get it. Guys I notice just usually eat one big meal a day (this bothers me more than you would EVER know).

    I think you should do something involving food with the sisters. Maybe a cake baking contest? or even have a chef come in and do a cooking demonstration. That would be a lot of fun and get the girls thinking food=fun, not food=fat.

    Congrats on the award girl!
    xo-Molly
    http://www.givinganythingbutup.wordpress.com

  37. lowandbhold February 9, 2010 at 3:12 pm #

    Good for you for not feeling triggered! That is amazing!

  38. Little Notes February 9, 2010 at 3:13 pm #

    πŸ™‚ congrats with the award and well done for eating with your sorority, another thing to be proud of πŸ™‚

    Ohh fat talk is driving me mad at the minute, today at work it was all they talked about all day. What diets they were going to go on, how much they wanted to lose etc. I just sat and did a puzzle at lunch to distract me from listening to it and even when I did tune in I could see just how rediculous some of their plans were. Im glad you dont find yourself triggered by these talks, their fad diets are not good for their bodies and it will catch up with them again.
    Have a great day,
    xox
    Laura

  39. whydeprive February 9, 2010 at 3:31 pm #

    I had a friend who went vegetarian to lose weight. She actually gained on it though, so I think she learned her lesson.

    Fat talk is hard to deal with. Good for you for not being triggered by it – that is NOT easy!
    My boyfriend complains about how he’s getting fat all the time and seriously, I want to punch him.

  40. chocolate pickle February 9, 2010 at 3:33 pm #

    Congrats on the award- that’s awesome!! And I love the picture of the scale that says “you’re beautiful”…all scales should say that:)!

  41. katyainsf February 9, 2010 at 3:48 pm #

    Hmm…sorority activities…you guys could have like weekly brunches, outings where each sorority sister chooses where you guys go and plans the events for that day (take turns so it’s a new girl each week.) Hmm…group workout sessions…hehe just some ideas – don’t really know what sorority life’s like though. πŸ™‚
    Yeah – comments on having to lose weight, your methods etc are really annoying…Especially for people like us who’ve dealt with the consequences of messing with our food, natual eating patternsm digestion etc…They still think it’s a safe game to play until something goes wrong or they get a bunch of vitamin deficiencies or end up gaining MORE due to not eating and then eating A LOT. So just share your experiences with a friend who is considering a diet strategy you dissapprove of. Share the consequences of being unhealthy etc. Hope this helps. πŸ™‚ Oh and that last Fage + Oats + PB concoction looks amazing!! I just might have to try that. Have a lovely day hun!
    Xox!

  42. Sara K February 9, 2010 at 4:32 pm #

    Fage 2% alllllllllll the way!!!
    Ugh I hate “Skinny Bitch” as well…stupid propoganda- you can bet I burned that copy that I bought my freshman year- all a bunch of BS.
    Good for you for not being triggered by all the “fat talk,”ughhh it needs to end, yes?!
    Lots of love
    Sara

  43. theemptynutjar February 9, 2010 at 4:37 pm #

    what a post!
    ugh – fat talk REALLY bugs me ….seriously…
    and people going vegan to lose weight and stuff….i dont know…everything is too too too much these days
    love ALL your eats love πŸ™‚
    when u do overnight oats …do u first cook the oats or just empty the raw package in?
    girl….u are so succeeding…no worries or fear …great to see…
    i think i know which actress u remind me of: a bit of jennifer garner and hilary swank….but definitely: Frieda Pinto from Slumdog Millionaire
    and she is gorgeous πŸ™‚

  44. blueeyedheart February 9, 2010 at 4:38 pm #

    Congrats on the award!! πŸ™‚

    It’s sad how standard “fat talk” has become; most people don’t even notice it! I don’t know what I’d do in this case — people tend to get very touchy about such things, even if they’ve never had an eating disorder. Still, it’s fantastic that you are able to realize how sad it is, instead of getting triggered by it.

    ❀ ❀

  45. rebecca lustig February 9, 2010 at 5:44 pm #

    YES, rock star breakfasts for rock stars.

    This was such a wonderful post, I’m glad you had a great day– and I’m soo proud of your award πŸ™‚

    Stay warm, lovely lady!
    bec xo

  46. adrienmelaine February 9, 2010 at 6:13 pm #

    I’m with you! People going vegan is the worst!

    I think that being vegan is a total lifestyle change, similar to joining a religion. You’re not a vegan if you wear leather, eat white sugar or use toxic cleaning products- there is so much more to it, and vegans deserve a little more respect than people flippantly deciding to try it to loose weight. This topic KILLS me!

    I think you handled it with grace not saying anything, I would have- and then probably regretted it later- that’s just me. haha, xo

  47. merittothecarrot February 9, 2010 at 6:26 pm #

    CONGRATULATIONS ON THE AWARD!!! That’s incredible πŸ™‚

    …today in math, a girl was talking about how she was scared to have a piece of gum (for it was 5 whole calories) and how she was off to the gym today to run & swim to lose the weight she’s gained since Xmas. Her plan is to stop eating. It was insanely hard to me to keep my mouth shut.

  48. homecookedem February 9, 2010 at 6:29 pm #

    So glad that you didn’t let those comments trigger you. In fact, you took a good look at what she said and wrote down good reasons why her attitude about being vegan to lose weight is so wrong. I’m so proud of you!! πŸ™‚

  49. Kristie February 9, 2010 at 7:59 pm #

    Huge congrats on that reward smartie girl!
    Fat talk is just awful isn’t it. If only us crazy girls could just be more satisfied with ourselves. It’s so hard to sit and listen to people make misguided choices like going vegan to lose weight… and to not really be able to say anything. It’s probably for the best though, sometimes that just makes people go all on the defense. I hope you can figure out a way to help her out though but suuubtly let her know how you actually feel? Sigh. Sticky situation. One of the reasons it’s nice to live at home, I’m rarely exposed to the fat talk fandom going on in the university world!

  50. crazylittlethingneela February 9, 2010 at 8:06 pm #

    you said it all perfectly well and i am so happy you choose not get sucked into the fat talk. and i agree with you on all the points you make. going vegan to loose weight is why people believe veganism is so bad for you and become so malnourished. these people have no idea what a proper vegan diet looks like!!
    i am so proud of you for seeing past that and for that i am 100% you earned that award πŸ˜‰

  51. sophia February 9, 2010 at 10:11 pm #

    What about cooking/baking together? Or decorating cookies. Shopping at a farmers market if there is one nearby…or Karaoke (tee hee, I actually HATE this one).

    I’m glad you’re getting more social, and not freaking out about dinner with others, and unplanned meals.

    And urgh, it bothers me that people want to go vegan for weight issues. I agree with all your points!

    And congrats on the award. It is boasting, but hell, I would totally show it off if it was me, too! Haha, brag all you want, Shelley, cauz you’ve got it!

  52. Michelle February 9, 2010 at 10:18 pm #

    Girl you are a rockstar!! Your are doing so well, and I’m so proud of you! And your yogurt and oat messes always look so darn tasty! πŸ™‚

  53. Kylee (Little Hat) February 9, 2010 at 11:05 pm #

    Hi (: Thanks for your comment!
    Personally, my choice of activity would be roller skating! It’s my favorite & one of the things I look forward to most once my body is healthy again!

    Your yogurt messes seem so perfect! You’ve got to be like, the yogurt mess queen or something. (:
    -Kylee

  54. Jacqueline Johns - Your Happy Life Mentor February 9, 2010 at 11:12 pm #

    Are all your girlfriends obsessed with food/diets?
    If so, I’d be on the lookout for friends with a wider range of interests!
    There is so much about life to enjoy! Don’t get me wrong – I love my food, but I love so many other aspects of life.
    Well done you for taking the KROM position – this will keep you busy, productive, happy.
    I’d love to know if you are involved in sport at all. This is fun, productive, healthy and makes you feel great!
    Good luck in your quest for happiness.
    Live Life Happy!

  55. Mitri February 9, 2010 at 11:16 pm #

    I’m glad you weren’t influenced by fat talk. It’s strange how sometimes even older women in my family do that. To me, it’s like… okay, either take care of yourself (healthy eating & exercise to reach a healthy weight, since they are overweight) OR accept who you are. But don’t just talk about it negatively because that does nothing useful at all.

    Congrats on your new sorority position!!

  56. Lauren February 9, 2010 at 11:37 pm #

    when a friend wants to do a fad diet you disagree with, I’m not gonna lie I say something. I know it is sooo hypocritical as someone who suffers from an ed to say something to someone else about food. But sometimes I feel like perhaps we are more justified to say something because we are more aware of the dangers of fad dieting. If your friends diet seems dangerous, as a friend it is your duty to say something to her.

  57. justjac February 9, 2010 at 11:51 pm #

    Hey girl congrats on KROM and your GPA! You are a rockstarrr!!
    As for the sorority–I’m in one and I know some fun bonding sisterhoods we’ve had have included ice skating, movie nights, (marykate and ashley, sex and the city, etc, lol) and last week they went inner tubing in the mountains-missed that one though! :/ Anyway I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun with that!

    I agree Skinny Bitch is BS and fat talk can be SO annoying and SO triggering…but i try to ignore it and know that most girls aren’t as affected/give in to it as much as say you or i have in our lives…so they/we are just in different places, ya know? Anyway just important to keep YOUR MP and your GOALS in mind! Take care girl, goodnight!

    <3jac
    http://www.justjac.wordpress.com

  58. balancingfoodandlife February 10, 2010 at 12:23 am #

    Hey girlie!
    first of all, CONGRATS ON THE AWARD! ❀

    some things you girls could do could maybe be some volunteering together? (good for ya'll, and the community!)

    as with the fad diets.. I warn friends.. but in the end, it's their choice. Its usually hard for me to aviod saying "i told you so!" after they gain all the weight back!

    xox Vera

  59. Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce February 10, 2010 at 12:54 am #

    congrats on your award shelley, that’s a huge one! so cool that your prof remembered you too, wow out of 800 students? you little smarty pants! glad the sorority dinner was a success, so nice when you let yourself enjoy somethign and it ends up being relaxed and fun!

  60. jqlee February 10, 2010 at 1:32 am #

    congrats on your award! you go girl.

    it does bother me when ppl try to crash diet/fad diet to lose weight quick. nothing works better than doing it the old fashion way, eat healthy and work out. it’s really quite sad though because people just mess up their metabolism. i try to put in my 2 cents just for the sake of knowing that i tried to save another soul but it never usually works but hey, i tried right?

  61. Sam February 10, 2010 at 5:11 am #

    Hello

    I used to read your blog and then the “feed” to it disappeared but I’ve found it again – you have come so far, I’m so happy for you!! You should be proud!

    I hate fat talk so much and the way I deal with it is to not enter into a conversation about it at all, not even to disagree with someone.

    I read this post on the same issue recently, I hope it helps you:

    http://arielleleebecker.blogspot.com/2010/01/question-1-i-feel-like-dear-abby.html

    You are doing fabulously! xxx

  62. Nelly February 10, 2010 at 6:18 am #

    Breakfast for dinner party..have oatmeal and all different toppings and mix ins!

  63. tatiannalives February 10, 2010 at 8:31 am #

    Shelley!
    I can’t stand fat talk either.. I am really glad you decided to bring it up. It seems like these days everyone wants to be on some sort of diet because they are so uncomfortable with themselves. It’s really sad because we really all are beautiful.

    I am so proud of you that you didn’t find it triggering though πŸ™‚ You have seriously come so far! Way to go big sis πŸ˜‰

    1. Maybe you could have a ‘spa day’? Have everyone over to someone’s house and do facials, nails, and stuff?
    2. Honestly, I think I would say something. I know you might feel like it’s not your place to say anything because of your past, but I think your friend could learn from what you went through. It could be worth it to give her a subtle warning to try to make sure she doesn’t find herself going down the same path.

    xox
    Tat

  64. Katharina February 10, 2010 at 9:31 am #

    Your fro-yo looks sooo good especially with the chocolate hazelnut butter YUMMM πŸ˜€

    Congrats on the award! You girls can do craft nights πŸ™‚ OOO!!! Dance parties! Those don’t really require any money lol but you set some aside to get a strobe light or something. My exchange student and I would have dance parties a couple times a week in our rooms lol. Cost? Nothing!

    I usually mention to them that isn’t the way to go and that they’re dangerous. I also steer away from saying any specific food is “bad”. I guess it depends on who I’m talking to because sometimes I’m more straightforward if the person is less sensitive.

    XOXOX beautiful lady πŸ™‚

    http://www.ohonemorething.wordpress.com

  65. Salah February 10, 2010 at 10:13 am #

    Eating disorders are starting to become so prominent in this country due to the obesity issue. The constant need to get “skinny” is in the back of everyone’s mind it seems like. The truth is American doesn’t need to get “skinny” they need to get HEALTHY….there is a difference. There is such a thing as “skinny fat” where a person may not weigh very much but still has a lot of fat inside their body (which is why people who do have a fast metabolism may not be near as healthy as they look on the outside). I will get off my soapbox soon, but I am a Health Promotion major so I sit in class and study all different diseases and health issues, and especially in sororities there is always that issue of being fat, one of my friends completely stopped eating when she joined a sorority her freshman year and worked out everyday as well, and crashed and went to the hospital. She went on to tell me she just felt so pressured to keep up the “fake tan, perfect hair, ski, body etc.” She eventually became inactive, but it still just goes to show that there is so much pressure to achieve this “celebrity skinny” everywhere.

    Sorry this is so long, but I could go on for days on the issue of “Skinny”. I think there is just a HUGE lack of education on how to be healthy, and what people don’t understand is that crash diets do not work, you are completely right….but being healthy and losing the weight and keeping it off is BEAUTIFUL!!!

  66. oatsandchocolate February 10, 2010 at 1:19 pm #

    SHELLEY! thank you so much for the bday wishes πŸ˜€ and congrats on your award, you totally deserve it one hundred percent. its so awesome that you ignored all the fat talk. some girls dont know how bad it can be to their self esteem and bodies. and its crazy how people will even go vegan just to solve a problem! i love all your yogurt messes, you make me miss american food so much πŸ˜› have a great day girlie xoxo soph

  67. Lauren @ BIOCHEMISTA February 10, 2010 at 1:51 pm #

    Hmmmm sorority ideas….Since you will be doing these with a group of people it’s always cheaper. I’d say a private bellydancing class, zumba class, hire a fortune teller, host a wine tasting event (everyone brings a bottle and a glass), or champagne tasting.

  68. feetinmotion February 10, 2010 at 2:01 pm #

    I loved the burger too πŸ™‚

  69. Heather February 10, 2010 at 4:10 pm #

    I bet that did feel pretty empowering to not feel the need to join the fat talk. Hopefully your friend can listen to some of your advice about going vegan. Just doing it for a quick fix diet wouldn’t be a good idea, plus it’s not a lasting way of eating if you’re just going to become a vegan to lose weight.

  70. candice February 10, 2010 at 8:04 pm #

    CONGRATS on your award, beautiful girl! You totally deserve it. πŸ˜€ All of your yogurt messes look delicious. They have hazelnut spread @ Red Mango?! Jealousssss.

    I really don’t like Skinny Bitch either. I’ve honestly never had a friend who was planning to go on a fad diet, so I’m sorry that I can’t give you any advice. πŸ˜• Maybe you should inform her that there are healthier ways to lose weight, and that she will just gain the weight back if she loses it on a vegan diet?

    Love you :]
    ~ candice

  71. caronae February 10, 2010 at 9:06 pm #

    Your breakfasts and frozen yogurt look wonderful!

    I love when I feel so cleansed after therapy too πŸ™‚ Sorry about the fat talk,it can be so frustrating to hear, especially for women like us who are trying to move beyond our body image issues. But I’m glad you didn’t let it get to you. Maybe you could sit down and chat with the girl who wants to be vegan and ask her how she is feeling — i.e., try talking about what’s going on in her life and if she’s having any problems instead of food?

    Just a thought.

    And sorority ideas: maybe you could do some group art projects, like making paintings, or writing stories, or even just coloring!

  72. Kate February 10, 2010 at 9:43 pm #

    well written lady! i’ve read your blog for a bit now and i am so impressed with how articulate you are.

  73. Jess February 10, 2010 at 9:51 pm #

    Sorry about all the negative “fat talk!” I hate how girls do that!! But I’m so proud that you were able to not let it affect you.

    Love your eats, as usual!!
    ❀ jess
    xoxo

  74. Kailey (SnackFace) February 10, 2010 at 10:13 pm #

    HUGE congrats to the GPA!!! Yous a boss!!!

    Oh the fat talk. Will it ever end? I really hope so.

    And your friend who wants to lose weight by going vegan…I have some thoughts. Well, I think it’s great when anyone gives veganism a go. Even if the good intentions for animals aren’t all there, it’s still saving some animals and their byproducts. BUT as far as using veganism to lose weight, all I can say is that I gained happy, healthy weight while vegan.

    Anyway, you’re doing so brilliantly– I feel like a proud mama! Keep doin yo thang!! xoxo

  75. justjac February 11, 2010 at 12:50 am #

    Has your friend followed up about her diet plans? Gosh that can be hard to deal with.. I think healthy vegan recipes is a good idea, though!

  76. Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) February 11, 2010 at 12:51 am #

    COngrats Heather on your award!
    Sorority activity…I know this sounds kinda lame but you should bake cookies and bring them to a retirement home. Honestly older people are lonely sometimes that it would be nice. I sound like Im a lame mommy but that’s my idea LOL

    The fat talk. Ick. I cringe that my daughter already hears women talking like that in the groc store, starbux, etc.

    And the vegan thing. I am a vegan for health reasons. Not to lose weight but to get to the bottom of some serious challenges I faced. Trust me, it’s not easy being vegan and these girls if they dont know what they are doing will likely feel like crap. How sad. And it pisses vegans like myself off that people think it’s a weightloss plan. It cheapens my dedication to this lifestyle. Sigh.

    Hang in there girl!

  77. Tori February 11, 2010 at 1:13 am #

    Wow I hope you read this. Your blog is so fun to read and I can relate to some of the things you’ve gone through. I hope you can take the time to check out my blog. I am just starting to get the hang of it, but some helpfull opinions or comments would be wonderful. Keep blogging! πŸ™‚
    Oh, and Fat Talk should be banned!!

  78. Lauren @ BIOCHEMISTA February 11, 2010 at 1:48 am #

    Hey girl…random ques…What was that awesome Rent quote you posted the other day??? I can’t seem to find it.

    Thanks so much!!! xx, Lauren

  79. feetinmotion February 11, 2010 at 8:06 pm #

    Thanks for the oats suggestion Shelley. I’ll have to try it!! Hope you figure out some ideas for your sorority. Also great job with your intelligence πŸ˜‰

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