Freshman 15

5 Feb

happy weekend!!

As you all have noticed, I haven’t been blogging quite as frequently as I would like. The thing is, I think this is best for me. I blog when I have time and am trying not to get stressed over a feeling of obligation to blogging. I blog because I like it πŸ™‚ No need to do it every day!

lunch wednesday was a veggie burger on whole grain bread with swiss cheese, cheddar bunnies, and a pear.

wow, my memory is pretty pathetic right now haha. Wednesday is a bittt of a blur. I ate my snack during a class and didn’t photo it (oops!) and then dinner was at one of my favorite restaurants on State Street called Mia Za’s! You can make your own salad, pizza, pasta, or panini! I made a salad because I honestly love them! They are humongous!! There are so many topping options.

Mine had turkey feta, lots ofveggies, craisins, raisins, almonds, & sundried tomato dressing and I also ate an aple and Rachel’s baked bbq chips!

See what I mean?? massive!!!

My evening snack was this bar and some unpictured almonds.

I purchased some egg whites & apple butternut squash baby food and so I was so excited for my breakfast!

2 packets of instant oats, 1/4 cup egg whites, baby food (yep) stirred in with cinnamon raisin swirl and banana… perfect! I got the baby food idea from Danielle and I loved it!

Lunch was my favorite go-to lunch of a turkey and soy american cheese wrap with veggies, pretzel thins & an apple. That is Gardner’s tea but look at the can- so pretty!!

Then I did some homework, went to a zoology discussion, & got ready because there was a frat party last night. Mike posner was going to be there so we had to go super early.

Part of my dinner was this salad. I also had a pear, annie’s chocolate chip bunnies and other munchies!

Then I went out with the girls!!


(i’m on the left!) It was an ok night. There was all this hype for this stupid frat party and it wasn’t that great. Granted, it might have helped if I knew who Mike posner was haha but that is besides the point..

I wound up at Gardner’s. no big!

Today I consciously made the decision to not take food pictures today. Why? because I didn’t feel like it. I think that part of being a “normal” eater (for me at least) includes not photographing every meal. Obviously, not everyone blogs and I LOVE blogging but I just don’t want to feel like I need to photograph every meal because it only will add to my obsessiveness tendencies- u know? So some days I will picture it, and some days I won’t!

I know I am doing so well in recovery. I am like 5 pounds away from target! I joked with my mom I gained the freshman 15″ hehe. I kiddd (though not really haha), anyways…

Yeah, i’m doing well but then WHY do I still have fat talk rollling in my head like 90% of the time? So frustrating! & on top of that, my old jeans are starting to fit again. I am happy, on the one hand, but on the other hand i’m like whaaattt?! kinda freakin out. I think it is time to throw away my anorexic clothes… thoughts?

QUESTION TIME!

oh, & of course.. I’m going to answer questions!! I didn’t forget loves πŸ™‚ I have a lot so i’m trying to figure out the best way to go about this- I’m probably going to do one post with like 5-10 of them at once, but for now i’m taking them question by question.

A few people have asked me about where i eat/do i eat in the cafeteria/do i prepare my own food/etc. I can’t remember everyone who asked, but I’ll sum it up for you all!

Ok, so here’s the dealio. I do eat in the cafeteria a majority of the time. I tend to bring stuff for breakfast. Like if i want a yogurt mess, i’ll bring my yogurt and use one of their bowls and bananas, raisins, etc. I used to be worried somewhat would look at me and think it is weird but now i could really care less! I laugh about it with my friends and usually my friends are jealous πŸ™‚ I like being in the cafeteria for the social aspect so it works out. I get sandwiches from the caf a lot and sometimes i’ll bring my own like pretzels/laughing cow cheese/etc. Now & then, I do prepare my food in my room if I am busy or it is easier! Sometimes, though, I totally just go and wing it with my friends! Usually those meals aren’t pictured πŸ™‚

Also, a lot of people asked what I am studying/majoring in!

Psychology!! I started pre-business but was really uninterested in it and after taking intro to psych, I realized I was so interested in psychology! I hope to be a counseling psychologist and work with either children or teens/woman with body image issues (I hope one day I am 100% recovered and am able to not only help them, but be able to relate to what they are going through!)


Have fantastic weekends!! Tonight i’m taking it easy and seeing a movie with one of my best friends πŸ™‚

soo in sum, I have some questions for you- 1) what ARE majoring in/what DID you major in/what WILL you major in? πŸ™‚ (whichever applies to you of course!)

2) what are your feelings on anorexic clothes/throwing them out/etc.?

3) weekend plans??


xoxoxoxox

Shelleyβ™₯

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77 Responses to “Freshman 15”

  1. Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine February 5, 2010 at 8:12 pm #

    Blogging should definitely be fun, so do it as often as you feel like! I love your outfit for the frat party!

    As far as throwing away the anorexic clothes goes, I’d get rid of anything there’s “pressure” to fit into (jeans, especially!), but try to alter anything that’s really special to you! A lot of your clothes might look better now than they did before, anyway…I’m still flat chested, but I fill out my tops way better than I did before πŸ™‚

  2. Danielle February 5, 2010 at 8:14 pm #

    Yayyy I love that you thought the baby food was a good idea πŸ˜€ (I though people would think I was nuts)

    I completely know what you mean about not wanting to take pics of your food all the time. No big!

    1. I’m a dietetics major
    2. Throw them out!
    3. Being snowed in πŸ˜•

  3. Abby February 5, 2010 at 8:16 pm #

    Cute pic…
    1. I majored in psychology in undergrad then went back and got my masters in teaching (elementary and early childhood)
    2. Donate em.. dont throw em out!
    3. RELAXIN and cooking (obviously)

    Happy weekend, dear! πŸ™‚

  4. crazylittlethingneela February 5, 2010 at 8:18 pm #

    i am also thinking of majoring in psychology! we will see how that goes πŸ˜‰
    love the photo of you shelley, you’re looking gorgeous. and it’s perfectly normal not to take a photo of every meal you ate. i think most people would be way to bored to do that πŸ˜‰ haha!
    i agree on the donating the clothes. makes you feel ever better about giving them away!

  5. Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) February 5, 2010 at 8:19 pm #

    “am trying not to get stressed over a feeling of obligation to blogging. I blog because I like it πŸ™‚ No need to do it every day!”–Amen sista!

    Not taking food pics. AGain, amen. I only take photos of my dinners. It’s too damn much work otherwise! Breakkie or lunch has to really be special for me to bust out the camera!

    Donate your clothes.
    I was a psych major and masters/graduate work is also in psych, marriage & family therapy!

  6. Lexi February 5, 2010 at 8:20 pm #

    I agree that blogging should be fun. Don’t force yourself to do it everyday if it’s not what you want to do! Also, I think its great that you’re taking a little break from food photos. I rarely ever photograph ALL of my eats, usually just a special meal or something fun πŸ™‚

    I say… throw those sick clothes away! I’ve parted with many items of clothing. and although it was hard, it was empowering. It was a huge “Fuck you” to ED.

    Hope you have a super fun weekend!!! Love ya girl.

  7. Sara February 5, 2010 at 8:21 pm #

    1.) I want to major in business management/law next year when I go to college followed by law school.
    2.) I just wrote about issues with clothes on my blog today!:http://findingbalanceandbliss.wordpress.com
    3.) Weekend Plans: probably just relaxing and hanging out with my parents

    XOXO
    Sara

  8. Rachel February 5, 2010 at 8:22 pm #

    Don’t feel any obligation to blogging:) It’s YOUR blog–don’t make it feel like you’re being forced to do it!

    Love the picture with you in it! You look gorgeous, Shelley!

  9. funfashionista February 5, 2010 at 8:26 pm #

    hey i can relate, im about 5 lbs away from my goal too! my old clothes are starting to fit again and i dont really know how i feel about it. my mom told me that we can just get rid of them and get a few new pairs which i am fine with. im glad she is so supportive:) you are a really strong girl for being able to recover while going to school. thats such an achievement in itself! i wish i was still at IU…but i mean being healthy is the most important right? keep it up, your amazinggggg
    amy<3

  10. theemptynutjar February 5, 2010 at 8:33 pm #

    Oh love…your eats are awesome…stellar….
    and you are BEAUTIFUL…honestly…u remind me of an actress….i cannot quite figure out who exactly

    1) blog whenever u want…and never feel u HAVE to post pictures….i never do..well, sometimes i like to and might do more…but i would read your blog even if u just wrote “woke up, cleaned the toilet, went back to bed” πŸ™‚

    2) great for psychology…2nd year i think u said? I have 2 degrees from 2 universities…but relunctant to say cause not sure about “revealing’ myself too much on internet….not yet anyway…

    3) THROW AWAY the clothes

    4) YES”..eat in the cafeteria for SOCIAL..exactly…it is success if u eat and gain, etc…but if a person neglects the anxieties around others and food, etc…then the whole issue is never really solved….

    5) now eat some goodies girl….and forget your weight…u are a mind and smile and sweetness…your body is just your medium to give us all your wonderful words…the only obligation u must have your body is to TREAT it right and not abuse it so that it can function and help u to function to your greatest potential !

  11. Megan February 5, 2010 at 9:01 pm #

    You look so gorgeous in your picture!! And I love psychology! Even though I’m not a psych major, I still love taking psych classes for fun!

    1. I’m an economics major (focusing on finance/business!) and love it!

    2. I agree with the other bloggers.. donate them!

    3. Weekend plans = stay in.. we’re supposed to get 30 inches of snow! AHH

  12. Hillary February 5, 2010 at 9:05 pm #

    Movie. Which one? Dear John? That’s my Friday night plan : )

    You already know what I’m majoring in: Food & Nutrition Communication. I think you have a great idea about your psychology path…

    If you’re talking about throwing out your ‘anorexic clothes’ that are itty bitty, I’m all for it! Your bigger, but probably still small, clothes will remind you to keep EATING!

  13. Emily (http://funnyemily.wordpress.com) February 5, 2010 at 9:08 pm #

    girl i think its best for you to do what’s best for you πŸ™‚ & i know you are πŸ˜‰
    fabby eats, and i know what you mean about not snapping photos of all your eats, no big.
    psychology! fun, i’m taking a psych class next quarter.
    as for me i’m majoring in finance at the moment & i have no idea what the weekend has in store for me.
    happy friday!
    xoxo

  14. alyssa February 5, 2010 at 9:08 pm #

    Im a psych major too!! graduating in may! for some reason, everyone thinks ur analyzing them as soon as u tell them thats ur major but it really is the most interesting stuff to learn about!
    as far as the clothes…toss em to somebody that actually needs them. cause u my friend, u dont need em!

    • alyssa February 5, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

      now that im reading that it kinda sounds mean..hahaha..not how i meant it to be..i mean u dont need them anymore..hahaha…hopefully ya catch what im tryin to say. lol

  15. elise February 5, 2010 at 9:32 pm #

    same major, same goals in my career

    ABSOLUTELY throw away the anorexic clothes. i didn’t and it only perpetuated problematic thoughts. OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND

    you look AMAZING and will only continue to look better as you get healthier.

    way to go girl, you are truly a recovery superstar.

  16. Sam February 5, 2010 at 9:47 pm #

    heyyy! congrats on being so close to your goal weight πŸ˜€ and i agree- blogging should be for fun.
    as for the anorexic clothes- definitely just throw them out! i know as soon as they get too tight they’re going in the trash and I’m going shopping in pants that fit me well and that i can feel good in(:
    as for weekend plans im probly going to hang out with some friends at some point and go see dear john or go to the mall(:

  17. chocolate pickle February 5, 2010 at 9:51 pm #

    Blogging should be a fun part of your life so do it when you want, but don’t feel pressured:) Of course we all love to hear from you, but you need to do what’s best for YOU!

    Clothes not fitting…hehe, I can empathize….and I used to freak out about it….now I just repeat over and over in my head that I look so much better and that the clothes that are now too small were TOO SMALL IN THE FIRST PLACE. It sounds so simple, but somehow it’s so hard to let go of that past right?! Your old clothes starting to fit means a return to a happier healthier YOU….the clothes that are too small do serve a purpose I think, though….they serve as a reminder of what you don’t want to get back to….try to see them as motivation to stick with recovery! I think no matter who you are, it’s always harder mentally to GAIN weight than to lose it….getting past the clothes issue is a tough one, but I know you’ll pull through because you are in a stronger place now….and like you said, get rid of the ed clothes if you need to…..it’s hard, but some people need to do that to move forward!! Way to go so far!! It sounds like you are continuing on a very positive track:)

    Have a great weekend!!:)

  18. Caitlyn (Letters from the Oasis) February 5, 2010 at 9:52 pm #

    I’m not blogging as much either! but I’m still reading! (and commenting occasionally…)

    You look cute in that pic! and you look happy!

    1. I majored in Art Ed. got my Masters in SPED
    2. I give all clothes that don’t fit me to my little sisters if they are interested, or to the Goodwill. It’s so clensing to get rid of stuff, because then you can get new things!
    3. Weekend plans: RUN with some teammates. I’m excited because I will get to run with girls instead of boys! πŸ™‚ then RELAX!

  19. adrienmelaine February 5, 2010 at 9:57 pm #

    Hey Girl!
    Throw them out! The sooner the better- just do it on a whim and don’t look back- way easier that way.

    Also- you are kicking ass- I can’t believe you’re only 5lbs away- you look AMAZING and another five will do nothing but give you some bigger boobs, silkier hair and better skin. You know you’ll probably fluctuate when you get to you goal weight (have to be honest) but you’ll find a balance that works for you when you get there.

    Allow yourself to be at this weight and be loved/love those around you. This is going to be such an important piece to your psychology degree as well. You’ll be amazing!

    I was actually out walking with a girlfriend who doesn’t blog today and she was telling me how she always goes onto your site and checks you out, and thinks what you’re doing is so wonderful. She’s a 27 year old who is inspired by you on a daily basis, and she leaves no trace of being here.

    That’s only one person and I’m sure there are more.

    Keep kicking ass!

    (and to answer your question- I’m in communications and have a minor in tourism and event management)

  20. katyainsf February 5, 2010 at 9:58 pm #

    1) Majoring in Psychology and getting my nursing pre reqs out of the way because that’s ultimately what I want to do.

    2)Get rid of the anorexic clothes! Nothing good can come of having them around. I recovered completely once before, but having those “old” clothes just sitting there definitely bugged me and eventually I relapsed to square one, using them to measure my “progress”…This time around, I’m definitely getting rid of them and suggest the same for you. πŸ™‚ Embrace a new, healthy, adult life–we’re not 7 anymore. hehe

    3) Weekend…hmm..working all day tomorrow and then going home Sunday for brother’s B-Day (he’s 18–time flies!!) πŸ™‚

    Hope you had a wonderful day love! πŸ™‚

  21. learningtocookeatandenjoydeliciousfood February 5, 2010 at 10:01 pm #

    I am an actuarial science major, I love math and numbers!! I am also in recovery from Anorexia and I had to throw away my skinny clothes and just where the clothes that fit and feel comfortable in. I find that when I found clothes I was comfortable in and they didnt feel too tight, the “fat” thoughts began to go away!! I hope this helps!!

  22. *Andrea* February 5, 2010 at 10:11 pm #

    Missed your posts πŸ™‚ glad you arent making blogging into another stress though – school and life come first! that’s my favoite kashi bar by far! takes like oreo cookies yum!!

  23. Nicole February 5, 2010 at 10:22 pm #

    Congrats on the freshmen 15! That’s wonderful, hun!! I am so happy to hear you’re nearly to your goal! : )

    I studied nutrition. Shocker!

    I think it’s always good to toss your past that can stir up unwanted emotions/thoughts. Having clothes that are too small is hard for anyone to handle, especially a recovering anorexic. I say toss’em!

    Weekend…nada! I wish a frat party though! ! πŸ˜‰ They’d never let me in…I’m too old!

  24. vanessa February 5, 2010 at 10:25 pm #

    i majored in american studies at cal state fullerton and i ❀ it.

    also..what sorority are you in?

  25. Gina G February 5, 2010 at 10:27 pm #

    post only for you girl! i support you 100% when you post and the pictures, this is for you, no one else!

    donate them!

    im a senior in highschool and plan to major in nursing (i want to be a baby nurse)

    bowling!

    have an amazing weekend =)

  26. homecookedem February 5, 2010 at 10:32 pm #

    Those freshman 15 are something to be VERY proud of!! You’re doing awesome!! Definitely blog when you feel like it – you’re right, it should be fun with no pressure!! πŸ™‚

  27. Michelle February 5, 2010 at 10:44 pm #

    I was a double major in Psychology and English in my undergrad, and now I’m in a Master’s program for School Guidance Counseling!! Counseling is such an awesome and rewarding profession, so I can understand why you like it!

    I think that any pants/jeans/skirts that sort of thing…toss them! Shirts…if they still fit, and you just fill them out more and like them, keep ’em!

    Weekend plans…study study, bridal expo for my bff (YAY!), and superbowl shindig at my father’s.

    Have a great weekend girlie!

  28. Dad February 5, 2010 at 10:46 pm #

    Hi Shell,
    I liked Gardner’s CBJ shirt in the picture. Nice to see it made its way to Madison after all!
    Definitely throw out the anorexic clothes or donate them to a charity. I don’t think you will be needing them anymore.
    Love,
    Dad

  29. Lily @ Lily's Health Pad February 5, 2010 at 10:48 pm #

    THROW THEM AWAY!!!

    I majored in psychology.

    What a hot pic of some Alpha Chis!!!

  30. katie February 5, 2010 at 10:52 pm #

    First,

    Love ya girl and so proud you are almost to your goal!!!

    second,

    you and your girls look so pretty, too bad the party was not that great, but glad you still had fun!!

    Third,

    love the addition of baby food in the breakfast oats, I have done that before too!

    Last,

    Im doing nothing but hanging with my loves this weekend, we are snowed in, supposed to get 30 inches!!!!!

    love u !! xoxoxo

  31. Lo February 5, 2010 at 10:59 pm #

    1. journalism/english—now grad student in journalism and I LOVE it because I talk/write too much for my own good.

    2. throw them away. u will always freak when that size zero doesnt fit….its like sorry ED/DE/whatever, I have hips now and they are gorgeous. Just get rid of them….plus I have a clothes rule in general– if i havent worn it in 6 months, it is OUT….time to go shopping again…. πŸ™‚

    3. weekend plans? Bud Light, me, music, and special peeps by my 23 year old self side!

    xoxo
    lolomon

  32. justjac February 5, 2010 at 11:05 pm #

    Have a great weekend SHelley!
    I’m glad you aren’t letting yourself feel pressure to blog everyday. Plus, I think it makes your posts more special, more anticipated! πŸ˜€

  33. Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce February 5, 2010 at 11:18 pm #

    yay psych majors, me too! i think it’s great htat you’ve figured out what works for you with the cafeteria/your own food system you have going on. i totally understand what you mean about not wanting to photograph all your meals, bc even though blogging is awesome it’s not exactly “normal” to have to snap pics of everything! have a great weekend shelley!

  34. the vegster February 5, 2010 at 11:22 pm #

    I sold all my “anorexia clothes” at Plato’s Closet and spent the money on new clothes that made me feel good πŸ™‚ Totally recommend it!

    xoxo
    Ashlei

  35. Jenna February 5, 2010 at 11:24 pm #

    I am glad you are blogging when you want to rather than feeling obligated to just blog everyday.
    Thatbis awesome you are almost to your target weight!! Kudos to mah girl Shelley;)
    keep it up!
    Jenna

  36. jqlee February 5, 2010 at 11:30 pm #

    I’m a accounting major but I am taking a pysch class this semester. I never thought I’d be into it and I honestly had to take it to fulfill a “gen ed” but I actually like the class!

    Anorexic clothes…I struggle with this. I just bought new clothes because I lost weight and NONE OF my jeans fit me so I had to buy new clothes…anyways, I couldn’t decide if I should buy the size that fits me now or if I should get one size bigger since I am also supposed to be trying to gain weight. I just bought like 10 pairs of jeans! At least they’re strectch so hopefully they will still fit? I am still holding on to my “bigger clothes” too in case I gain back weight but I really dont anticipate gaining that much weight.

    Your case is different. I would say get rid of them. I think it’s too tempting to know that you will have clothes to wear if ED ever hits hard again.

  37. The Brunette February 5, 2010 at 11:46 pm #

    Congratulations on recovering. It’s an extremely difficult thing, and there are so many parts to recovery. I hope you know, also, that the fact that you’re recovering IN COLLEGE is so impressive. There’s really no one to hold you accountable, which means that your recovery becomes 100% your responsibility and completely depends on your own desire to get better. Being able to recover so successfully in this kind of environment says something about what a strong, smart person you are, so I hope you realize that and are proud.

  38. justjac February 6, 2010 at 12:03 am #

    Hey girl! Hahah totally random but I noticed the sticker on one of your apple pictures and I was like, i hope she didn’t eat that… πŸ˜‰

    my major as of now is International Studies but I’m thinking English or psych, too! We’ll see, ya know?!.. As for the clothes; throw them away! Or do an art project/collage w/ them! My friends and i joked (kind of) in residential that if we couldn’t wear them, no one should! Seriously though, it will help a lot to get rid of them, i think! Or, you could donate them.. just keep in mind that the wearer will be younger/shorter/different body type than you. πŸ˜€
    Take care girl, and ENJOY your movie!! Dear John maybe?? πŸ˜‰

  39. justjac February 6, 2010 at 12:27 am #

    Hey girl! Hahah totally random but I noticed the sticker on one of your apple pictures and I was like, i hope she didn’t eat that…

    my major as of now is International Studies but I’m thinking English or psych, too! We’ll see, ya know?!.. As for the clothes; throw them away! Or do an art project/collage w/ them! My friends and i joked (kind of) in residential that if we couldn’t wear them, no one should! Seriously though, it will help a lot to get rid of them, i think! Or, you could donate them.. just keep in mind that the wearer will be younger/shorter/different body type than you.
    Take care girl, and ENJOY your movie!! Dear John maybe??
    http://www.justjac.wordpress.com

  40. candice February 6, 2010 at 12:46 am #

    Totally agree with your sentiments on blogging when we feel like it. Blogging should never be a chore! To me, it’s like a stress relief—there’s no better way for me to relieve stress besides writing it out. That, or screaming into a pillow, but I get to practice my writing skills and vocabulary with the former. πŸ˜‰

    You look absolutely gorgeous, girlie. I say you toss the clothes. You are not going to go back there… you’re going to keep moving forward as the beautiful, real you—who only wears clothes that fit her! πŸ™‚

    Love you, girl!
    ox ~ candice

  41. kbwood February 6, 2010 at 1:22 am #

    BURN YOUR ANOREXIC CLOTHES GIRL!
    PLEASE
    they do NO good
    and im so sorry about the body image-shell you gota understand that you are different and you have to do what your doctor/nutritionist says ..no matter what..and block out everything around you!
    also i think its so good u are hanging out with your girls! keep doing spontaneous/fun things like that!

  42. imaginenamaste February 6, 2010 at 1:33 am #

    I’m like you in blogging….I used to do it everyday, but now less often, still a few times a week, but when I want to πŸ™‚

    I majored in special ed and had a minor in psychology….now PhD in the lovely special ed fun. But, have gone straight through, so most of my students think I am one of them πŸ™‚

    For the clothes….get rid of em! I sold a few pairs of jeans to a second hand shop and I spent it on something fun with my sorority sisters (we had pedicures!). The rest of it, I gave to two younger cousin. I purposely sold the stuff I knew that they couldn’t fit in. They were excited and it was out of my closet!

    Weekend….stats. You should do yoga πŸ™‚

  43. The voracious Vegan February 6, 2010 at 2:33 am #

    Yay! You look so happy in that picture! I love all your friends, too, what a great group you’ve got there.

    All of your food looks FANTASTIC, just like always! I love the sound of that salad place, the idea of being able to pile on whatever I want is making me hungry for sure.

    I definitely agree with your blogging idea. It’s just for fun! There are days when I totally ignore my camera and don’t take pictures of anything cause I’m just not into it. Then there are days when I just can’t wait to blog! It’s all about making ME happy! πŸ˜‰

    In university I majored in Political Science, the great love of my life. And then I went to grad school where I focused on Middle Eastern Politics. So much fun! Now I”m working towards my PhD in women’s studies. I adore academics and would like to stay involved with it forever, whether it is learning or teaching.

  44. Jessica Zara February 6, 2010 at 4:58 am #

    That’s a stunning photograph. It reminds me that things are better at a healthier weight…seeing you so vibrant and still utterly beautiful (even more so because you’re glowing so much) having fun with your friends emphasises to me how much the view that nothing changes is contructed by my disordered voice…I suppose my feelings on lack of incentive are dictated because I don’t have any friends to speak of offline and can’t connect with anyone in the ‘real’ world. But how can I hope to make friends without breaking free from ED behaviours first? Thanks so much for making me see that.

    I’m studying for a Masters of Research (MRes) in English Literature but I am considering pursuing my true passion by going back to school to study Art and Design / Fine Art / Illustration. If blogging has taught me anything, it’s that we have to find what truly makes us happy and follow our dreams.

    With regard to the anorexic clothes, I can’t see any logical or constructive purpose for keeping them. They are something EDs love to cling on to, mourn over and convince us that we will fit back into one day. I donated my smallest items to charity a few years back, which might help if you feel guilty about wasting them? Plus, it’s a great excuse for shopping for a healthier wardrobe πŸ˜‰

    Have a great weekend

    ❀

    ~Jess~

  45. amylouisemc February 6, 2010 at 6:21 am #

    Hey,
    I just found your blog and wanted to say hi πŸ™‚

    Have a great day.
    xx

  46. Julia February 6, 2010 at 6:35 am #

    YES! Throw away those clothes and shop for healthy, gorgeous new ones! I did it too and it feels great:)

    xxx Julia (Taste of Living)

  47. Simply Life February 6, 2010 at 7:35 am #

    I really need to start trying egg whites in my oats!

  48. Ada February 6, 2010 at 8:01 am #

    Aww I’m glad you got to go out and have some fun with the girlies! All of your eats look fantastic as well:)

  49. Melissa S. February 6, 2010 at 8:01 am #

    ah, i love the picture of you and your friends! you all look so happy!!! wonderful!!

    for your questions, i majored in environmental studies and international relations. i almost minored in french, was one class away…so i almost say i did. πŸ™‚

    and as for the pre-ana clothing? THROW THEM OUT! i had to do that to help motivate me when i was gaining back weight and not having them around helped a lot! by having your old and betting fitting (or to better fit!) clothes makes things so much better and easier to get through!!!

    this weekend? hanging out at home, blogg’n, south beach for some tan’n and blogger meetup!

  50. seekmyself February 6, 2010 at 8:49 am #

    Don’t feel obligated to blog every day or take food pictures if you don’t want to; do what works best for you, hun πŸ™‚

    I think it’s probably a good idea to throw out anorexic clothes… it’s less triggering that way. As long as they’re around, there’ll be the temptation to lose the weight again to fit into them. Better to toss them out. Just gives you a good reason to go shopping πŸ™‚

    I think it’s great that you’re majoring in Psych and want to help people with eating disorders πŸ™‚ I’m taking a double major now in Psych and Philosophy.

    Hope you have a great weekend, love ❀

  51. Molly February 6, 2010 at 9:24 am #

    My clothes from when I was underweight taunt me. For some reason I feel like I need to fit into them or they got to waste. Throw them out!
    Glad you went out with the girlies, you look so cute! Hope you have a fabulous rest of your weekend πŸ™‚

    xo-Molly
    http://www.givinganythingbutup.wordpress.com

  52. tatiannalives February 6, 2010 at 10:08 am #

    No worries about the lack of blogging girl! I must admit that I do miss your updates though πŸ˜‰ I am SO impressed by all your eats! Although I miss so many photos, I think it is fabulous that you are putting down your camera and spending time eating and socializing =D Way to be normal!
    xox Tat

    1) What WILL you major in?
    I’m not too sure, but I was recently accepted into a criminology program πŸ™‚
    2) what are your feelings on anorexic clothes/throwing them out/etc.?
    I think you should definitely throw away your ‘sick’ clothes and show ED who’s boss! It will be so liberating to free yourself from that part of your life! I do think holding on to one or two items for motivational purposes is okay though… keeping an old pair of jeans to look at once in a while might remind you how much you have accomplished in recovery!

  53. Serena February 6, 2010 at 10:30 am #

    I think…if your anorexic clothes don’t fit anymore, it can be very symbolic to throw them out. πŸ™‚
    I also bring tons of my own stuff to my school’s “cafeteria” as well. At first my friends all laughed at me and called me crazy, but it’s all good now πŸ˜› I’ve started to convert all my friends into health freaks xD

  54. gateauxbellehelene February 6, 2010 at 11:28 am #

    I am so with you on not blogging everyday. I recently took a few days off from blogging as I felt like I was becoming obsessed with it and it was taking me away from my life, especially my BF. I used to obsess about taking pictures of everything I eat but now have realised that it’s ok of things go unpictured. It’s fine to fit blogging in around your life.
    Also, I ca’t believe you only have 5lbs left until you reach your goal weight, You will look fab! Good luck and I hope you stay strong.
    1. I majored in Music as it was the only thing I liked at school but now I’m working in the publishing industry!
    2. THROW THEM AWAY! You don’t need them as a reminder of the old you. You look amazing now so get rid of them. it also gives you an excuse to buy more clothes!
    3. Plans = quiet weekend of good food, time with my BF and sorting my life out! Helen xxx

  55. daintyvegan February 6, 2010 at 11:41 am #

    Throoooooooow those clothes out! Okay, don’t throw them out. Donate them? Whatever, just get RID of them. They’ll always be a reminder of ED and ED’s wants, it’s better if they’re out of your life.

    I’m not majoring in anything yet.. just doing my nutrition course. Not sure what I’ll do after this. =)

    I’m thinking about going to Vancouver tomorrow but I’m not sure if that will happen. Oh money.. I love/hate you.

    PS. I’m starting to not blog every day and it feels good! I love blogging but sometimes I’m just too stressed/tired and I’m not going to force myself to do it. That’s never any fun.

  56. Angela (the lady loves to eat) February 6, 2010 at 12:06 pm #

    Get rid of the clothes!! If you get rid of them you can’t look at them or try them (which is what I did all the time when I was recovering!) they are just a reminder of the ED and you don’t need that!
    Have a great week-end!

  57. Gracie February 6, 2010 at 12:49 pm #

    Hey girl, so glad I came across your blog! =)

    I love that you’re taking a day off from photographing what you eat. I do that every once in a while too (well, I usually just skip a meal). I agree that it’s important to remind yourself what “normal eating” is like – without having it in the back of your head that it’s going to be posted for all the world to see!

    You’re doing a great job of eating at college =) I remember going through that. I’d usually opt for a salad from the salad bar, but it was always so hard to stay away from the dessert/cereal section for me :/ Smart move bringing your own yogurt…I wish I would’ve thought of that!

    Love love love your bloggie. I’ll definitely be a follower! πŸ™‚

  58. Sara K February 6, 2010 at 1:14 pm #

    Dump the anorexic clothes! It will lift a burden off of you, or give them to goodwill/sell them at a consignment shop- as long as they’re in the back of your closet they’ll still hold some sort of power just by the fact that you’re keeping them :). You don’t need to have those near you anymore because you’re past that unhealthy stage.
    You’re doing greattttt girl- and I feel ya with the fat talk- it’s just the ED fighting back because it’s so terrified of losing you since you’re kicking asss!
    xoxo
    Sara

  59. Mitri February 6, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    I have been to 3 different colleges, each with a variation of my major, so here goes πŸ˜›
    1. Writing
    2. English Composition & Rhetoric
    3. Humanities

    Same ideas, different names x)

    I actually did a research paper on the Freshman 15; it’s really more of a myth that gets overblown rather than something expected to happen πŸ˜‰

  60. Gelareh @ Nutritious Foodie February 6, 2010 at 4:58 pm #

    You girls look cute all dressed up for your night out.

    Good for you for not taking food photos… I haven’t been feeling that peachy the last couple days so no food photos on my post either πŸ™‚

  61. Anna February 6, 2010 at 5:59 pm #

    Hey Shelley,

    Have you talked to your therapist about the “fat talk” thoughts? As I was ending the process of gaining weight those thoughts were racing through my head all. the. time. I felt like even though I was so close to obtaining my goal, ed still had such a grip on my thoughts. Even though *I* wanted a healthy life, those ed thoughts that I could not control were SO persistent. It was like torture. But talking to my therapist was a great help and she gave me tons of advice, which made it easier for me now to deal with unwanted ed thoughts.

    Have a great Saturday night hon!

  62. One Healthy Apple February 6, 2010 at 6:33 pm #

    Hey lovely! I love your thoughtful posts no matter how frequent! A lot of ladies have given you great advice on the clothes and mine is to follow one rule- do the clothes make you feel like the doll that you are? If they do, keep them. My thought is that they stir up bad thoughts and are not worth keeping! I do this with shoes and clothes I just don’t like!

    I was a business marketing major and am working on my MBA.

  63. blueeyedheart February 6, 2010 at 8:22 pm #

    I majored in psych too; I wasn’t intending to, but it just kind of … happened. πŸ˜‰

    As for throwing the clothes out — that’s definitely a good idea. No point in having them around to drive you crazy, right?!

    ❀ ❀

  64. The Candid RD February 6, 2010 at 8:54 pm #

    Good for you for doing what is best, and not feeling obligated to post all the time. I had them save “revelation” a couple weeks ago when I realized I spend half of my day on the computer reading blogs and writing my own! Yikes.

    I also want to say congrats for recognizing that “normal eating” doesn’t always mean taking pictures of your food. We don’t need to see everything you eat, and sometimes it’s even more fun to just share the most unique or new things you eat.

    I still have fat talk to, and sadly I think it’s common in just about all women (and men??). Obviously it’s different when you are trying to overcome an ED, but just remind yourself that you are so much happier now, than before, and a healthy weight makes for a healthy individual, both physically and emotionally. “fat days” will come and go all your life, you just have to learn how to cope with them and not allow them to take control. You look beautiful.

    Oh, btw, throw away the old clothes. You don’t want to ever be tempted to get that skinny again! That’s what I did.

  65. oatsandchocolate February 6, 2010 at 10:21 pm #

    hey shelley! wow i love your posts more every time πŸ™‚ its so great you are majoring in psych, you will be so great at it.
    1) i have no idea what i want to major in yet… maybe nutrition! just a dream πŸ˜‰
    2) oh i threw mine oout! i tried on one pair of pants and i laughed because they were so tiny and rediculous. throwing them out is throwing away the negative energy, and releasing the positive.
    3) weekend plans: church tomorrow, starbucks with a friend, homework, sleep!
    have a great night! xoxo

  66. sophia February 6, 2010 at 10:23 pm #

    DEFINITLEY throw out your anorexic clothes. One of the reason I went into my relapse a couple years ago is because I panicked when I started to have to squeeeze into my jeans. Like, it cut into my belly and it made it look “fat” and I totally got disgusted with myself. The truth is that I was never supposed to fit into those stupid jeans in the first place…even my petite 5’1 friend can’t! It’s just another method ED might use to damage your positive thoughts and body image, so BURN THEM!

    And…get a whole new wardrobe, baby! you totally deserve it!

  67. nattietan February 6, 2010 at 10:50 pm #

    I’ve thrown all my ‘sick’ clothes away before I actually grew out of them. When they started to feel a bit fitting, I quickly went out to buy new clothes because I decided that having them sitting in my wardrobe would be like them waiting for me to fit back into them again. Big no-no. Lol. So I’d say bye bye to the ‘sick’ clothes and hello to a healthy new wardrobe of clothes!!

    You are doing so well and looking more beautiful each time you post a new picture up! Keep it up Shelley! You deserve all the happiness and love in the world!

    xx

  68. Michelle (Snacks and Field) February 6, 2010 at 11:18 pm #

    AHHHH Girl! I think it’s amazing that you aren’t taking pictures every day… It’s NOT NECESSARY and although i LOVE seeing everyone’s eats- It’s important, especially for recovering girls to not take pics of EVERYTHING… esp when you don’t feel like it!… (I agree it can definitely lead/add to obsessiveness) I’ve also blogged whenever I can because 1. I want to be social with the people around me at school! 2. I don’t wanna be too obsessed picturing everything I eat everyday 3. There’s just not enough hours in the day!

    You are awesome and I lovee this post, it makes me sooo happy because I can honestly read this and think about how much progress you are making mentally… Sometimes when I read the blogs of recovering bloggies and I truly worry that they aren’t actually recovering like they should be, and you are just so positive in your recovery and it’s sort of relieving πŸ™‚

    You and your sorority sisters are Gorgeouss!

    and that’s such an awesome idea for a major- body image etc is actually something I’m seriously considering for my major too(switching back and forth to that and sports nutrition, ahh!) It’s so interesting to me, and I’d love to help people struggling with self-image… I think you are on a great road to recovery and that would be perfect for you once you are fully recovered to help people because you know where they are coming from and can relate to them πŸ™‚

    Alright that was long enough!! hahhaa have a great weekend, girlieee!

  69. ilanalala February 7, 2010 at 12:06 am #

    When I started blogging and I tried to take pictures of everything I ate to post I started going crazy – couldn’t do it, so I don’t! It’s weird how blogging, which I obviously chose to do, makes me feel this strange pressure to be and look and act a certain way and produce a certain type of post? I don’t know how that happens! But there’s no need to post everything you eat! I love your blog no matter how you do it!

    You and your friends are so cute!

    When I was in school I double majored in English and Jewish studies (my focus was modern Middle Eastern history & politics … I’m a nerd).

  70. whydeprive February 7, 2010 at 1:44 am #

    You do NOT have to take pictures of everything you eat, and you are absolutely right. It could very easily turn into an obsession and thats exactly what you want to avoid.

    As for throwing away your anorexic clothes, if they dont fit anymore chuck them. I had this one pair of pants that I hung onto for years. Throwing them away was the best thing I ever did. Theyre no longer there to torment me. If you think you’re ready to chuck the clothes, then by all means do it!

  71. Rachael February 7, 2010 at 2:41 am #

    I’d say to definitely toss the old clothes. And even if they aren’t too small, if they have associations in your mind with Gertrude then it might be a good idea to get rid of them anyways.
    I’m sorry you’ve been having such bad body image thoughts lately. I think recovery doesn’t necessarily mean thinking you’re stunning every second of the day. It’s more about learning to love your life and aspects of yourself outside of appearance so much that even on the inevitable bad body image day you aren’t willing to sacrifice all those other things in order to change or “fix” how you look. I know it’ll probably go just in one ear and out the other, but I’ll say it anyways. πŸ˜‰ It blows my mind because every time I see a picture of you I’m thinking to myself how gorgeous you are!

    Rachael*

  72. Kay's Nutty Oasis February 7, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    have you tried the Kashi GoLean Oatmeal Raisin Bar? It is by far the best – but if you want to try it get it soon because they are discontinuing it :[ booo.

  73. Naomi(onefitfoodie) February 7, 2010 at 10:41 am #

    blogging is all about balance and I am so glad you found a balance that works for you. At first I was ADDICTED to it, but then as time went on I began to realize, hey I have a life too and I love to blog so thats why I do it, but i didnt neccessarily do it every single day. I think its nice to take a break once in a while. I do love the ideas and inspiration I get form others and also the great friendships that I have formed though!! your meals look fantastic and I was def one of those people who asked you about your meals and if you bring them to the dining hall, so thank you for answering πŸ™‚

    the pic of you and the girls is so cute! brings me back to my college days (man I feel old LOL but I only graduated in 2008!!)

    xoxox

  74. Lauren @ BIOCHEMISTA February 7, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

    Heyyy girl πŸ™‚

    You look so cute in your pic and it really makes me miss undergrad 😦 haha

    Here are my answers:

    1) I majored in Biochemistry as an undergrad and I’m currently getting my PhD in Biochem, moleuclar biology, and cellular biology.

    In undergrad I switched my major so many times. I didn’t know what I really wanted to do until junior year! I started at nursing, then psychology, then biology, then biochemistry! haha I’m all over the place! At least I stuck with the science thing though, right?? haha

    2) I think any clothes/items/pictures that are negative in any way don’t have space in your life. Clear them out, it will only make room for the new πŸ˜‰

    3) Weekend plans were completely flipped upside down…DC got a huuuuge snowstorm! But so fun πŸ™‚

    Hope you had a great weekend!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  75. rustique February 7, 2010 at 6:19 pm #

    I am a psych major too! And I bring food to the caf with me all the time–I mean, have you ever seen what they dare to call hummus? Never gotten a weird look breaking out the Sabra.

  76. laura February 8, 2010 at 12:05 am #

    it is so interesting how we all can have such different food issues – mine – overeating – but the one pic you have with the oats and baby food – ughh that one doesn’t look so good

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