IOP Day 1

21 Dec

I feel like it has been forever!

Sorry to ‘disappear’ on you guys. I got home Saturday night, caught up with the fam, & then had to rush to Cincinnati the next morning.. so things have been hectic. I was going to a convention for a youth group I was the President of last year and it was a lot of fun because I got to see old friends and what not πŸ™‚

At the airport Saturday night, I was astonished by Chicago O’Hare’s healthy choices! For dinner, I had an asian salad with chicken & a delicious dressing.

There was even a health food store in the freakin airport!! I was in airport heavennn & bought these:

My Sunday started nice & early, and with an amaazing cup of dark chocolate mint coffee- incrediblee! & a nice big bowl of oat bran πŸ™‚ this bowl contained better n’ peanut butter, chocolate chips, banana, blueberries, & cinnamon. I love how the pb meltss into oat bran perfectly.

& that is just about where the foodie pics end 😦 I was a huuge slacker with the pictures because I was so busy!! But lunch on Sunday was a panera bbq chopped chicken salad with an apple & a dinner of like some cheesy/gross lasagna and caesar salad.

Today started out with a bagel & cream cheese (I KNOW.. not nutritious but delicious) and i was proud of myself for eating it! & Then i had to drive the 2 hour drive home.

Today was the day I started the outpatient program called IOP (intensive outpatient program). At 12, I met with a lady and she kind of gave me an overall mental health assessment. After treating myself to a little eyebrow wax & a lunch with my mama, I had a nutritionist meeting at 4 followed by the program from 5:30-8.

At the program, you are required to eat a meal and so I based mine off a temporary meal plan (since I hadn’t seen the nutritionist) and brought a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with pepper jack cheese, hummus, carrots, apples&grapes, and some kashi crackers. I managed to snap a pic!

It was so strange to eat with other eating disordered people. It was eye opening & really sad. I don’t want to divulge too much information, because these girls deserve privacy, but I will say that it is truly upsetting to know that so many girls are struggling with such terrible thoughts about themselves and their bodies. At the same time, It was also comforting to know i’m not alone.

I am going to be going to this program 3 days a week, and i’m actually looking forward to it. I feel like it will really benefit me and I think that it is the push in the right direction that I need.

I am really scared about the meal plan though. It is based on counting carbohydrates, meat/protein foods, endurance fuels‘ aka fats, and vegetables. I am supposed to eat 18 carbs, 11 meat/protein foods, 12 fats, and 4 vegetables daily. It just seems like so much. 12 fats?! I really don’t know how this is going to work out for me but I am going to try my very best to follow the plan. She laid it out by meal and it is very doable. Sure, it will be difficult at first but I believe that this is what I need if I want to be healthy and live my life as best I can.

I’m excited to see what I get out of this program, and hope it maybe inspires some of you girls out there to seek the treatment you need πŸ˜€

Tonight i’m for sure relaxing/catching up on blogs/hanging out with Gar because I am soo tired from traveling and what not!

Also, i’m super excited because my Mommy bought me a panini maker!! I can’t wait to use this baby tomorrow πŸ™‚

so i’m asking you girls… What is the best thing you make on your panini makers? Any suggestions? I need recipes πŸ™‚

I’m going to be using my blog now to help me stay on track with the meal plan πŸ™‚ I hope it goes well.

I’m loovving Christmas time (even though I’m Jewish). It seems like everyone is just happier! I hope you all have amazing holidays!! Christmas is so much fun, I am going to Gardner’s extended family’s dinner and they do a huuge secret santa, it’s cute. Done with all your shopping?? I’m certainly not!

Until next timeee…



ps- download this song RIGHT now: “Everything” by Michael Buble… i’m obsessed ❀


55 Responses to “IOP Day 1”

  1. homecookedem December 21, 2009 at 9:56 pm #

    That’s so cool that the airport had a health food store in it!! Who knew?!

    I don’t have a panini maker, but I bet any sandwich pressed with cheese in it would have to be amazing!!

    Good luck with the outpatient program! πŸ™‚

  2. The Candid RD December 21, 2009 at 9:58 pm #

    I want a panini maker really bad, but we just don’t have the room. I would make panini wraps, all the time!

    It’s so funny that you say Chicago O’Hare airport is really healthy. I must have been in the WRONG spot when I was there a month ago, as there was nothing to choose from, and especially no health food specialty store! I was there for two hours, and ate a nasty salad, and a 1% milk from Starbucks.

  3. blueeyedheart December 21, 2009 at 10:03 pm #

    I hate exchanges… I was never able to make any sense of them!!

    Good luck with the program… remember, it is what you make of it.

    EVERYTHING is better after being put in a panini maker! πŸ˜‰

    ❀ ❀

  4. katie December 21, 2009 at 10:03 pm #

    I love Ohare Airport!!! They do have so many healthy choices!!!

    Love the oatbran combo!! I just love oatbran so much!!!!

    Im proud of you for the Outpatient Program, be strong love, it will be ok!!!!! I wish you all the luck!!!

    Panini Makers rock!! I would like to make a tofuturky and laughing cow swiss cheese panini!!! That would rock!!!!

    Have a gnite !!! xoxo
    Im so excited for xmas!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. candice December 21, 2009 at 10:04 pm #

    A health food store at an airport?! 😯 Was the (already expensive) food like, 10 times more expensive? (That’s the cheapo in me calling, sorry.) Ah, don’t worry about the nutrition or lack of it in the bagel πŸ˜‰ Cream cheese is awwwesome.

    I think you should just trust the nutritionist for now, at least until you’re confident enough to plan meals on your own. I’ll be rooting for you! :] Sooo jealous of that panini maker~ if I had one, I would make oozy grilled cheeses like there was no tomorrow. 😯

  6. Diane Doesn't Diet December 21, 2009 at 10:07 pm #

    I LOVE Michael Buble! That guy’s voice soothes me to sleep πŸ˜€

    I’m glad you’re liking the IOP! I’ve never been in your position, but it really does sound helpful.

  7. L December 21, 2009 at 10:24 pm #

    cool about the panini maker!!!! Well I do not have one, but I use my george forman to grill/press some fabola sandwiches. I love to due turkey, cheese, tomato, spinach, and hummus!!!! Also I do PB, banana, and cinnamon sandwich.
    Outpatient man shelley your so brave!!!! Goodness, you rock girlfriend. The mealplan looks tough, but I think with recovery if your comfortable then your probably not gaining. So fight hard and you will win!!! I will be hear reading nad rooting for you!!! XOXOXOX

  8. Jenna December 21, 2009 at 10:26 pm #

    i am glad you had a fun weekend catching up with your old friends!
    i am SO proud of you for starting IOP and i am happy to know you are not alone and you are going in the right direction! i can’t wait to hear all about it!
    have a good night chica πŸ˜‰

  9. Jessica @ How Sweet It Is December 21, 2009 at 10:33 pm #

    I love making ANY kind of grilled cheese on the panini maker! Yummy!!

  10. daintyvegan December 21, 2009 at 11:07 pm #

    Any airport with a health food stores gets my approval. Not that my approval matters that much but still, it gets it.

    Good job on joining that program! You’ll do fantastic in it and I bet it’ll help a lot. πŸ™‚ Good luck!

  11. quarterlifewellness December 21, 2009 at 11:10 pm #

    A good portabella/mozzarella panini always hits the spot with me!!

    And you are amazing for doing this treatment! It sounds great and I can’t wait to see what you will learn throughout.

  12. Melinda December 21, 2009 at 11:30 pm #

    Love the panini maker! πŸ˜€

    And you have to try Chick- fil-A- it’s awesome!

  13. kbwood December 22, 2009 at 12:56 am #

    ahh love the panini maker!! i love puttin my veggies on it to make them more grilled πŸ™‚

    thank you so much for sharing about your program-you are in my thoughts are doing such an awesome job.. YOU are an inspiration to those girls in there too, so remember that!

  14. Eleanor December 22, 2009 at 2:01 am #

    Shelley, I don’t think I’ve commented on your blog before but I’ve been following you for a while, and I thought now would be the perfect time!
    I want to congratulate you on your choice of doing IOP – I, too, believe that the program will be extremely beneficial. You’ve made a great choice, and I have the utmost faith in your ability to follow through with this and overcome all obsticles.

    You’ve been an inspiration to me; watching your progress has been a motivator, and now even moreso.

    I wish you all the best, and have a beautiful day.


  15. devan December 22, 2009 at 2:06 am #

    i love love love you
    i am seeking help for myself in the New Year.
    you ARE an inspiration to me.. xoxox

  16. Hillary December 22, 2009 at 2:47 am #

    Way to go. I hope the program helps. You can do it!!

  17. Karin December 22, 2009 at 4:20 am #

    I can only agree with everyone else; it’s fantastic that you decided to join the program! I really hope it helps. Stay strong!

    I’m jealous of the panini press by the way – I want one too! πŸ™‚

  18. eliza December 22, 2009 at 4:51 am #

    i am so happy and proud of you babe…sounds like the IOP group went well. i know exactly how it is, in IOP it was kinda hard to just hear what some others would do, and at times it would make me feel sad..but it was also great to feel like i am not alone in this…and i met so much lovely girls! and yay for a bagel + cream cheese, even if its not the most nutritious thing in the world, its my fav πŸ˜‰ and its delicious & Shelley deserves it! πŸ™‚
    you are so inspiring to me lovie, you have no idea, and i think its so amazing that you are going to use your blog to help you stay on track with you MP…ugh, i know the Meal plans can be a bit difficult to handle, but i was on a very similar one, and if you need any help or suggestions for easier and good ways to reach those 12 fats etc etc, i am always here πŸ™‚
    ahh a PANINI MAKER !!! so so cool ;P jealous πŸ˜‰ my aunt has one, and made the best pressed sammies!

    love you,

  19. Naomi (onefitfoodie) December 22, 2009 at 5:47 am #

    first of all awesome panini maker!! i want one so bad…heat up my wraps and sandwiches! so jealous ofyou, girl…I think this OP program will REEALLY help, it sounds very interesting and I can only imagine being in a room with others who struggle with the disordered eating and having them eat a meal in front of everyone else, that must be so hard. You seem like you are SO on the right track and also have a great outlook on the whole situation, so you are sure to SOAR right through this!

    what counts as a carb or a fat? is it 1 serving? so that means you must have 12 servings of fats and 18 servings of carbs? just wondering!

    have a great day and nice time at home my dear!!xox

  20. Lexi December 22, 2009 at 6:06 am #

    I’m so so proud of you, Shelley. Your positive attitude about IOP is so inspiring. I’m sure you are going to be a very good influence on the other girls. About the meal plan, did you see Sonja? She’s a really good nutrish at the center. I know it seems like a lot of endurance fuel, but trust me, it will do you good. Fats are nothing but dense sources of energy that our bodies truly need to function properly. Love ’em! You can do this! So so proud of your positivity and strength! Let me know when you have some time to get togetha!

  21. VeggieGirl December 22, 2009 at 7:38 am #

    Stay strong, dear Shelley!! You’ll get through all this. **hugs**

    I recommend the George Foremann Grill as a panini press! πŸ™‚

    • VeggieGirl December 22, 2009 at 8:50 am #

      P.S. – best things to make in the press = grilled PBJs. Divine.

  22. tatiannalives December 22, 2009 at 7:41 am #

    You are so inspiring to me! I am so happy to hear that you are going into the outpatient program – if there was something like that around here, I would definitely join up.

    It is really interesting for me to see that you are feeling overwhelmed with your eating plan – that is not meant to be insulting whatsoever, I just feel like you are already so far ahead of where I am on this journey and it reminds me how far I still have to go. You encourage me to be stronger πŸ™‚

    Stay strong, you are gaining your life back one step at a time, and I couldn’t be more thrilled for you!

  23. determinedtoshine December 22, 2009 at 7:58 am #

    Good luck with IOP my love! I think it will be perfect for you and I hope it really helps. You deserve the absolute BEST out of life πŸ™‚
    Don’t stress too much about the meal plan. I know they are daunting at first but keep reminding yourself that these professionals only want whats best for you and KNOW what they are talking about – this is their job. We just have to trust them πŸ™‚

    And wooop for the panini maker! I love spinach, roasted veggies (peppers, mushrooms, red onion etc) and hummus. great combo! or anything with falafel is amazing too.

    Keep up the festive spirit my lovely ❀
    Hannah xo

  24. Simply Life December 22, 2009 at 8:05 am #

    oh I am so impressed and happily surprised you were able to find healthy options at an airport!

  25. Nicole December 22, 2009 at 8:15 am #

    Pesto, tomato and pine nut sandwiches on multi grain bread. Yummm!

    Done with my shopping — YES!

  26. theemptynutjar December 22, 2009 at 8:31 am #

    You are….there are no words.
    You are just exceptional…extraordinary…wow.
    I missed your posts when you went “missing” πŸ˜‰
    I love reading your posts and so appreciate you reading mine though it is a scattered mess.
    You are moving forward and that is wonderful…capturing life for all its worth versus ruminating in self-pity and doubt.
    THAT is character.

  27. Laura December 22, 2009 at 9:28 am #

    I LOVE the O’Hare airport! They make the most delicious wraps there!

    I’m starting an IOP tomorrow. 12 fats MAY seem like a lot but it’s actually not. Technically a fat= 5grams and we are supposed to be eating about 60g a day…so it makes sense! Plus, all of my meal plans required 12 fats and as long as you include nuts/nut butters…it’s not all that bad!!


  28. Emily ( December 22, 2009 at 9:59 am #

    thanks so much for sharing your iop experience, i’m currently looking for some type of treatment, it really helps to see what iop is like πŸ™‚
    ah i use the george forman as panini press…my fave is probably fancy grilled cheese with tomatoes and spinach and basil πŸ™‚
    oh man i have mucho christmas gifts to get, hopefully i hop to it today.
    happy tuesday dear, glad you’re enjoying home!

  29. Abby December 22, 2009 at 10:40 am #

    HEALTH food store at an airport??? HECK YA.. Enjoy being at home, honey! πŸ™‚

  30. solclare December 22, 2009 at 10:50 am #

    Oooh Shelley, I want your panini maker!

    Yeah, meal plan sucks, but I guess we gotta try to stick to it. I’m trying hard to stick to mine too :).

  31. rebecca lustig December 22, 2009 at 11:09 am #

    YAY, I’m so happy for you! I truly believe this IOP program will help you maintain the healthy lifestyle you deserve. I’m SO nervous about my IOP program (if I get in.. I have to gain 6 pounds by January 2nd– eek!)

    And my meal plan works so similarly to yours.. They do it to try and get us off of calorie counting and whatnot. YOU CAN DO IT πŸ™‚

    Thank you for your comments and support. I genuinely appreciate and value your genuine words.

    Stay strong, stay positive- it’s the most wonderful time of the year. And if it’s not, make it one.
    love youu bec xo

  32. Allie (Live Laugh Eat) December 22, 2009 at 11:57 am #

    I’m proud of you for taking a leap and seeking treatment. I know it must be so hard to follow a meal plan that you may not feel comfortable with. Is this just for winter break or are you continuing during school?

    Oh my goodness I went through a panini making stage where all I ate was paninis. My roommate got the EXACT same one for our apartment. The best? Baninis!!! That’s what I call my banana+ab+pecan paninis. Oh and bananadillas. Same thing but in a wrap. You can also use butternut squash or pumpkin or pears or apples and a nut butter. MMMmmmmmm

  33. lora December 22, 2009 at 12:03 pm #

    omg girl are u in chicago? i live there! and yes the airports in chicago have such healthy foods!

    as for the panini…take arugula, salami or prosciutto and Gruyere and Parmesan cheese and panini it together….omg gasm in the mouth. Gruyere cheese is the bet b/c it melts gooey and perfectly.

  34. tropicaleats December 22, 2009 at 12:47 pm #

    panini maker sounds AWESOME! i can’t believe there was a health food store in the airport ahhhhh! best airport ever πŸ™‚ Still haven’t bought anything for christmas presents 😦 I am the worst shopper ever… i need a better game plan lol

  35. Lauren (Biochemista) December 22, 2009 at 1:02 pm #

    So proud of you! I’m sure it’s going to be hard at times but I really admire you for not only enrolling but for posting openly about this so you can serve as a role model for others. πŸ™‚

    Oh and btw, I’m OBSESSED with Better N’ PB, so nutty and delicious!


  36. merittothecarrot December 22, 2009 at 1:12 pm #

    We have a panini maker and I love to make “Panini&J” Sandwiches… so pretty much just a pressed pb&j sammy. It’s excellent with banana πŸ™‚

    Congrats on the bagel πŸ™‚ Gotta rep that inner jew!
    ….honestly, I need to work on increasing my “endurance fuels”, so we can do this together. ❀

  37. laurasworthlesswords December 22, 2009 at 2:02 pm #

    Oh wow a health food store in an airport, airports usually are terrible for food choices!
    Well done on going to the IOP program, it may sound scary and daunting at the minute but give it some time, once you get used to your new plan you`ll be fine. I dont really understand the exchange plan system but Im sure your nutritionist will be able to give you ideas on how to manage it.
    Ohh a panini maker, how exciting :-). I dont have one, I use my grill instead usually I just toast my sandwiches or wraps are so good toasted. Sometimes I`ll grill my tomatoes and peppers with along side it, they come out really nice.

    p.s. on my cake I made, it was a chocolate Malteser cake, those little balls are Maltesers. Not sure if you get them over there? They are a type of chocolate sweets here.

  38. lowandbhold December 22, 2009 at 2:21 pm #

    Glad you had fun at your convention. I secretly love airports. I don’t know why!

    Glad your program is going well!

    Yay for a panini maker! That is exciting!

  39. Katey December 22, 2009 at 2:48 pm #

    I did the carb counting when I had to gain weight! Don’t worry too much about the fat! Because JUST ONE tablespoon of PB is a fat serving.. and 1/2 a tablespoon of olive oil. My nutritionist told me that it is better to gain weight by eating healthy fats rather than really sugary foods. The weight you gain will go more to muscle(esp. if you weight train) and organs than actual FAT on your body. Make sense? GOOD LUCK!

  40. Katie December 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm #


    Email me!

  41. Averie (LoveVeggiesandYoga) December 22, 2009 at 3:19 pm #

    wishing you the best, hon! And yes, Ohare has come a long way, lately, hasnt it!

    You and I both won a giveaway at Katie’s blog, just wanted to write and tell you congrats, too πŸ™‚

  42. MelissaNibbles December 22, 2009 at 5:13 pm #

    I’m so impressed by your proactive approach in your recovery. This program will only help you reach your goals. Good luck!

    My favorite panini is pretty simple. Bananas, raisins, dark chocolate dreams peanut butter on whole wheat. YUM!

  43. dee (the apple hill adventurer) December 22, 2009 at 5:31 pm #

    wow, thats pretty amazing for an airport! usually im lucky if i can find an apple for under a dollar in the airports i frequent .. bleh

  44. Peanut Butter Bliss December 22, 2009 at 5:36 pm #

    I love how open and honest you are with this blog girl!! so many props your way πŸ™‚ You sound like your on the best road to recovery!!

    those blondies are SOOOO good by they way!

  45. Meredith December 22, 2009 at 5:37 pm #

    WOW! A health food store in an airport? Very impressive!

  46. Lauren December 22, 2009 at 7:40 pm #

    I am so proud of you! This program will be so wonderful for you and it take real courage to stand strong and make yourself vulnerable in front of so many others. Good for you beautiful! πŸ™‚

  47. Ali December 22, 2009 at 9:42 pm #


    πŸ˜€ hahaha

  48. glidingcalm December 22, 2009 at 10:00 pm #

    I LOVEEEEEEEEEE IT when airports have healthy choices!!! YAYYYYYYY

    HURRAY FOR THE PANINI MAKER! can’t wait to see what you come up with!
    quesadillas? sammys? melts? possibilities are ENDLESS


  49. Kris | December 23, 2009 at 12:28 am #

    Congrats on the sammie griller!! Whip up a nice veggie sandwich πŸ˜‰

    I hope your holidays are going wonderfully!!

    Love you!

  50. Bekah December 23, 2009 at 12:40 am #

    Oh Shelley, I’ve got you on my heart my dear, and I reaaally wish the best for you and your outpatient program. πŸ™‚ I’ll be thinking about you in the next couple weeks.

    As for Michael Buble? HELL YES.

    And panini maker? Fave combo= some kind of crusty bread, turkey breast, pear, cheese (whatever kind), spinach or arugula, with a drizzle of honey. omg. so. good.

  51. chocolatepickle December 23, 2009 at 5:27 pm #

    Best of luck with the meal plan!!!! My nutritionist actually just told me that I have to up my fat a LOT….like totally a MINIMUM of 78grams fat (or about 12-15 fats a day) so I can understand your feelings on that! It seems like SO much, but I decided to make small changes like eating 2% yogurt and 2% milk to make it a bit easier! Counting exchanges can be a pain but gets easier….good luck! You’ll get the hang of it:)

  52. Jenny December 23, 2009 at 6:08 pm #

    oh how I wish I could give you tons of hugs right now and tell you that it’s going to be okay! I know how scary “12 fats” or “x number of calories” etc. can be. When I started working with my nutritionist I cried at the thought of what she told me I needed to eat. It’s tremendously difficult, trust me, I know – but I can promise you that your body WILL get used to it, nothing changes over night, it is a slow process and you are completely in control of your own body. Trust yourself, trust your body, and trust the process. I promise. Once you get past these initial hurdles it is all SO worth it in the end!!!!! I love you girl. Stay strong!!!!! I am so so proud of you πŸ™‚ Never forget that!

  53. The Healthy Apple December 25, 2009 at 4:48 pm #

    Oooo I love panini makers; they’re fabulous…Enjoy and Happy Holidays! I can’t wait to see what you create with your paninis!

  54. LaFonDUHH December 26, 2009 at 2:24 pm #

    hey IOP buddy! its LAFONDA ;D
    i love your blog.. i want to start one really bad now! haha i just feel like i wouldnt know what to write or if i would even do it! lol
    but youre an amazing girl and youre doing soo well in IOP love! πŸ™‚
    good luck & i hope to see you soon!

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