Just another Manic Monday..
I want to start of by saying thank you to all of you who gave me such positive comments in regards to my struggles/positivity on the blog/gertrude/etc. It seriously gets me through my day sometimes just reading them.. so basically, i LOVE YOU ALL 🙂
Sunday was legitimately spent studying all day long. I woke up at like 9:45, promptly made breakfast
& then was headed to the student activity center to study.
Gardner joined me because we were both in psych.
I used pandora to get me through & I actually listened to classical music! It really helped me focus oddly enough. We both got hungry for lunch & decided we didn’t want to lose our table, so we ordered Milio’s subs!
This was just the boost I needed to stay focused studying. Of course, we took plenty of breaks but I honestly was there almost all day.
Dinner was at Quizno’s because it is really close to the place we were studying.
It’s kind of hard to see the salad because of the bread, but it was surprisingly good! It had blue cheese (which i adoree), chicken, bacon, & veggies! I had 1 of the pitas but I was stuffed after dinner.
Gardner talked me into froyo… and Gertrude was like “NOO you don’t need it” but I was able to ignore her 🙂 1 point shelley, 0 points Gertrude!
Then we were back to studying.. very uneventful day but nonetheless- necessary.
My psych exam is Tuesday & then I have another one Saturday. I have a final paper due the 23rd, but it shouldn’t be hard because we did a ‘first draft’ and I got an A- 🙂 I was really happy!
oh & i was super excited to receive these adorable slippers from my mama for chanukah!
In the last post I mentioned that I was going to discuss a girl on my floor who is suffering from an eating disorder, so here goes nothin’
I noticed that she had lost a significant amount of weight & looked completely unenergized. Her face is sunken in, her pants are incredibly loose, and she has lost the ‘glow’ she had when school started. She is beautiful but she truly looked 5 times better before.
I noticed these changes about a month ago and wanted to say something to her, but felt it wasn’t my place. It only took a little alcohol, however, for me to slip up and make a comment. She was more than happy to go on and on to me about how she knows she has anorexia, she doesn’t have her period (& hasn’t for a while), & she is miserable/consumed with food thoughts. I told her i’m here for her and about how I am on my path to recovery… & that was the end of that. We had a recent talk about it again and she truly is going through a VERY similar situation to me, so part of me just feels like close to her in an indescribable way despite the fact that I don’t know her very well.
Well now it is clear nothing has changed, and if anything she has gotten thinner. Worse, I have these irrational, unfair negative feelings towards her (which completely contradict the closeness I feel)! I see so much of myself in her (i am much healthier now) but for some reason I have hateful feelings towards her. I want to shake her & tell her to stop & tell her she looks sickly, but then I realize how hypocritical it is because I am not far from where she is.
I just don’t know what to do. My psychologist said I should stay away from her, as it could trigger me, and I know she is right. The thing is, I am a compassionate person and hate that no one is doing anything to help her! I mean, other girls on the floor talk about doing things, but everyone is scared to confront her. I truly hope her family at home helps her. I don’t know if she realizes how detrimental this disease can be.
Have any of you been in similar situations? How did you cope? Any advice?
super apologetic for bringing up something that is such a downer, but it has been on my mind & i have a little bit of a feeling that some of you might have some fantastic advice 🙂
Until next time!! Hope your weeks are great ones
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